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Mel11

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  1. I agree with Cherylyn, she gives great insight. This thing with lying by omission is to me even more deceptive than a bold faced lie. I think the fact he lied to you is just so disrespectful. Then wanted you to call his bluff only to find out he was lying. Kind of calculating and crappy. You deserve better than that. It's hard when you love someone and have lived together for 3 years to have to deal with this type of thing. Who knows why people sabotage their relationships instead of investing in them. It stinks. I wasted 9 years waiting for the big moment for trust to be rebuilt after lies of
  2. You are better than that and do deserve more and I love that you are resolved in your decision to do what is best for you and your son. If you have no had the support of him as a co-parent and taking care of him alone than you are doing what is best for your son by forging ahead for a more stable life with support. I'm proud of you for having the strength to respect yourself, and do what is in the best interest of your son. He is young enough where he will form strong bonds surrounded by love and support. Support you need to accomplish your goals and financial obligations. It is not the ideal
  3. If he gave you his phone, I think he wanted you to find out. Why he lied and hurt you like this is so wrong. Why not just be forthright instead if deceiving you, knowing there was a probability you would learn the truth. Was he just looking for a social outlet and thought it would be ok to explore if he kept the conversations platonic? I just don't like the fact he outright lied to you, Without honest and trust which are the building blocks and foundation of a relationship, it can be hard to forgive but not impossible. Ask him why he did it first of all, and then why he lied knowing you would
  4. How is teasing you and tormenting you sexually an intimate and loving experience? This sounds like a very cruel way to manipulate and control you and make you feel excited about sex and then discarding you for a humorous thrill. I have no idea what kind of sick thrill she get's out of this, but clearly it is not normal or fair to you. This sounds a bit deranged to me and no one deserves that.
  5. first of all, it is egregious that anyone would say such a thing as to take your own life. This is psychological abuse. You trusted her enough to share things with her, and your intention was for support, not to have it thrown back at you. I would say to her, I don't look back, I am not going that way! She is clearly abusive and this punishment, shaming and lack of respect is not something anyone deserves. You need to remove this person from your life fo your own mental health end emotional safety.
  6. This is as good as it is going to get I'm afraid. You are like I was. Hanging on to the closeness, and the deep passion you once had and putting up with some much crap just holding out hope that good stuff will resurface. But there are major red flags here that are so hurtful to you. The cheating alone not only puts your health at risk but your heart. All these absences while you are stressing out increases your cortisol levels and ages you and can be a risk factor to your health. Don't you want to share your time with someone that will love you so much that they would not want to leave your s
  7. I am sorry to go off topic here, but how much can one handle? My heart goes out to you with a newborn and I am wondering if you have experienced post partum depression on top of all of this. A c-section is also not a cake walk. I have had both PPD and a C-sections and thank my doctor to this day for giving me that little pill shortly after as there were way too many hormones going haywire. I am not saying your situation is hormonal, but I am genuinely concerned for you based on all the factors here. You are well educated and are the expert of your own body, but I just wanted to put that out he
  8. This is just so disrespectful to you. Block back and look ahead. Rejection hurts but how about you reject his behavior. Youre worth more and you deserve more.
  9. I am not going to judge you on the fact you don't know which one to choose. Because there is a good chance you could lose both. Maybe the one you feel attracted to does not have the same interest in you, or the same beliefs and values as you. The main point is that is sounds to me like you have had done all that you could even with counseling, to cultivate certain attractions for this girlfriend that it is simply not coming to you naturally. It sounds like you have a solid friendship with your current girlfriend, and don't want to lose that, but the attraction and sexual chemistry is not ther
  10. I'm confused why you isolated from each other for months. Location/Country.
  11. Thanks Cherylyn. I am feeling less guilty and the fact he confirmed something terrible to me during that brief exchange really felt I was warranted to say that. He wished me the unspeakable worst thing you can say to anyone, and that's when I blurted it out that I wish I never met him and that he was a horrible man. I just cannot wrap my mind around the fact I thought this man cared for me but at the end of the day he wanted money from me and his future is not going to look so bright. I did everything I could and he was absolutely cruel to me. The only person in his life that had his back and
  12. He came to pick up his belongings out front. Just some important paper work. Wasn't even going to say hi. I went out and asked why he wouldn't even say hi. He says he's been very sick and that everything was all in my head. I didn't hold back and I feel upset with myself. I told him I wish that I had never met him and that he was a horrible man. With that I locked the door and that was the last I'll see or ear from him. It wasn't necessary but I have been upset for days and that is how I feel. Now I feel guilty for acting that way.
  13. Can you find the tinder pic? Send a snap via text and ask, Is there something you want to tell me?
  14. No means no and he clearly violated you. I agree with the other's in that you should seek the support of a therapist or others in similar situations. It does not matter if you were his girlfriend or wife, you were not his object to use for his own gratification and it has left you traumatized. I, too, don't think there is any legal recourse that you can take at this point, but getting the mutual support of others that have had the same experience will give you the voice that was disregarded as you tried to protect yourself. I am so sorry this happened to you and it makes me sick anyone would d
  15. Change. I miss the person I thought he was. The person he portrayed himself to be in the beginning. The fake dreams, the nice things that I took hook, line and sinker. The person I reduced myself to thinking I should have been to appease the cultural differences. If I could have just been better, more submissive. obedient, and not spoken, took all the blame with a smile. But I could not do it. And when it is drilled into your head that you are no good, unlovable, nothing and that no one would want you, it is hard not to believe it when you have been beat down and beat down by the person you lo
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