janey

I also just wanted to mention that my b/f's "wild days" were many years before we even met. Since then he had some serious girlfriends, and now me. Which makes it even stranger that it bother me so much, because it seems like it was just a phase. Maybe it's the porn that keeps reminding me of those things... or maybe I'm just too obsessive... Anyway sorry to ramble so much. Thanks for listening.

Hi. I've read some posts here that have to do with jealousy and dealing with the past, and dealing with porn and other sexual issues. I have a problem with these issues too. I'd appreciate as much input as I can get on this, especially if you have any relevant experiences to share. I'm a woman in my 20's and I have a great boyfriend. Our relationship is perfect, except: I have trouble dealing with his wild past. He has done pretty much everthing, slept with many women, had group sex, even tried sex with men (briefly). I, on the other hand, have very little experience. Also, he has a really big apetite for all kinds of porn - straight, gay, lesbian, trans, bizarre things, toys, whatever. I like that sort of thing sometimes, but not nearly as much as him. I guess that's the classic difference between men and women though, that men are very visually stimulated and women aren't so much. Now, I always thought of myself as very liberal in my beliefs. I believe people should be free to experiment, to do what they want and look at what they want. But now that I'm in a relationship with someone so free himself, I find myself obsessing about it. He has never cheated or done anything suspicous, and I've never known him to have cyber sex or any of those things... But still, I obsess about his sexual exploits from the past, especially the more bizarre stuff. I don't think of anything as gross or disgusting until I think of HIM doing it. Then I feel threatened. The same goes for porn - even though I reserve the right to look at weird things myself, I obsess about what he watches. I've told my b/f how I feel, and he does his best to please me and reassure me. But what can he do? I find myself thinking awful things about him, like that he's a pervert, or a closet homosexual, even though I've been curious about lots of kinky things myself. I can't seem to let go of the past, and I can't seem to stop worrying about the future. This is ruining my life. Please help me! Why am I so worried? I keep looking at the relationship itself and don't see any problem, neither sexually or emotionally. Why am I being such a jealous prude? Please please share if you have anything that may help, and if you have any questions that may clear this up, please ask... I have nobody to turn to. This is a really serious issue for me.