confused11

SisterLynch I don't feel like I'm avoiding loving my husband completely because of the other person. In fact, I'd say my feelings toward my husband were actually stronger during the affair. Now, like before the affair, my marriage has returned to "normal". Good, strong and the same. I wished my friend and I had not crossed that line and simply maintained the friendship throughout, thereby leaving it untarnished. Our spouses were always aware of our friendship. When we speak now, which is maybe every other week, we can pretend that it never happened. But like I said, there's still an underlying awareness so to speak that we did cross the line. And without discussing it you're never really sure of what the other may be thinking. I'm banking that time will be my best medicine. Just wish there was more info out there, ya know?

There's so much advice out there on how to get over your spouses affair but there seems to be very little on how to get over your lover. I am married and had an affair with a married man. Realizing that nothing good would ever come out of it and neither of us being willng to risk losing our familes, we broke it off. Our emotions for one another ran very deep. We allowed ourselves to keep a distance until our heads cleared. We both realize that we can not ever go back down that road again but there is a friendship that remains. We will occasionaly speak on the phone and just catch up. There sometimes seem to be things that are not being said and neither of us are willing to discuss them. The friendship that remains is one that is genuinely caring and important to us both, but for all practical purposes is tarnished. It's very hard to just walk away from someone that you can truly confide in and who actually listens and cares even about the little things. Advice?