littleone2

Thank-you all so much for your care and support. You are all right in the points you make. I deserve so much better, because I know in my heart no one deserves this. He has been manipulating me, and he showed what a coward he was yesterday by hitting me. It hurts, it really does, to have someone you thought you truly loved do that to you. Thanks again everyone, I will keep reading everyones post until I get stronger!

Well, I know this will sound stupid to some, but I like the fact that he is older, he really does help me in a lot of ways, and he is very supportive in other ways. I could see that he was truly sorry, he felt awful after. Not that I am justifying him, I guess I just am thinking that this is a one time thing, our fights will never escalate to that level again. Who am I kidding though, its possible, but I guess I know I am in denial, I am just so weak right now, I am not doing anything about it. He broke my phone by the way, after throwing it in the street, so we haven't really formally talked, just him apologizing.

I have been with my bfriend for 1.5 years now. He is in his 30's, I am in my 20's. Anyways, our relationship has always been a little rocky, but when we are getting along, we have a great time. Lately though, a lot of issues have been coming up about his ex, his temper, etc. Just to give a little detail, when we met, he was honest and told me he had some issues that needed to be solved with his ex, but they would be wrapped up soon. To this day, he still emails her, I don't know how much though. Just about a month ago, he lied to me saying he was going to dinner with his guy friends, and I come to find out, he took his ex out for her bday. Then, when I confront him about his emailing her still, etc., he gets irate, and tells me I am obsessed with the ex thing. Im not, I just want him to be honest. He doesn't hang out with her anymore, and he swears to me they are 100% over in that way, he is just being supportive to her (through email) because she found out she has cancer. He says I am too young to understand, and I am handling this like a child. Anyways, he yells at me no matter who's fault it is, and when I saw an email two months ago from his ex saying "i miss u" and "thanks for being there for me," I confronted him and he lashed out at me. Anyways, the verbal abuse turned physical yesterday. I will not go into details why, but it was a misunderstanding on HIS part. He started yelling, then ripped my shirt. He pushed me very hard onto the floor, then when I got up to stop him, he hit me again. He would not let me explain, and when I tried, he threw me down again on the floor! I don't know why, but when he apologized, I forgave him! I am really in shock that he did this to me. This has never happened to me before, and I am just feeling so bad right now. Why do I want to forgive him, and why didn't i just say, "**** you," and leave him and not look back. I am so hurt right now. He has apologized, and feels awful, but still...