surferchic88

Pennsylvania

Thank you so much for all of your feedback. I think I have decided that I will just be patient for now. This other man who I am positive is my soulmate is also my best friend and is supportive of me working on my marriage - which he says is becuase he does not want me to experience the pain of divorce that he did. He is very supportive of me in general which is why I am drawn to him so much. Anyway - I appreciate all of the advice. As far as the support groups for wives go - where are they? There are none in my area and the ones I have viewed on the internet are actually pretty negative about being a cops wife.

I appreciate everyone's imput. I wish this were an easier decision. The reason it is so hard to make that commitment to the marriage is becuase I no longer am attracted to my husband. He split our account and now we have two separate accounts and we pay bills as if we were roomates. It makes it hard for us to do anything together becuase there is always the "uncomfortable" topic of "who pays". It has deteriorated to less than a friendship and it hurts!!! How do you get past that?

My husband already knows how I feel about the marriage. I started talking to him about it over a year ago and he did not take me seriosly until I threatened to leave this past November. Then he suggested counseling and set it up with a guy who works specifically with cops. We only went once. Then over the course of a month he lied to me about several things including setting up his own checking account and buying a $600 gun. After all of that took place (this would be during and right after Christmas) I told him that I would not attend marriage counseling with him until he went to see a counselor on his own. I gave him a month. Meanwhip - I went to counseling myself and still am going. He wated until the last day of January to set up an appointment and nothing has really changed since except my relationship with my "friend". My husband says that he wants this relationship to work but actions speak louder than words. He has also changed his mind about having kids since he has become a cop which is really hurtful to me becuase before we got married we had agreed that we would like to try to have at least 2!

Help!!! I have been married for 5 and a half years. Two years ago my husband changed jobs and became a cop. This new career has led to many nights where I am alone and very few opportunities for us to see each other. On top of that his personality has completely changed and his job is the most important thing to him. In the midst of all of this I met and fell in love with another man. We were just friends at first - for almost a year actually and now I believe that he is my true soulmate. I am at a loss as to the steps I should take. The new man in my life has just recently divorced and is not pressuring me to leave... my husband. He believes that if he and I are meant to be together it will happen in due time. I, on the other hand, am sick of having to think about this. I just want it to be over!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!