James80

I feel like a massive weirdo. We’ve been broken up almost 5 months now. Longer than the relationship, yet I can’t move on from you. I want to. I don’t want to feel pain when I see you. I don’t want to imagine you with someone else. I don’t want to be upset any more. I suppose I just don’t understand what happened. I know I can put it down to the depression you are suffering with. Or anxiety. But moving on so fast when we seemed so good just makes no sense. Having no feelings when you seemed so in love just a few months ago makes no sense. Maybe I'm wrong to pin it all on the illness. Maybe it was only good for me. Maybe you didn’t feel the same. I also think that maybe I put pressure on you I was saying things like I wanted to marry you etc that may have really freaked you out. But I really saw a future for us and maybe just got ahead of myself. Maybe you can’t explain it either. It’s just such a crushing shame. I’m torn between wishing we had never happened and not. I was happy for those few months (even before we got together when we were just talking) and I hadn’t been happy for a long time before that. You made me feel good. And loved. I wanted that feeling to last forever. I know I will eventually move on. I think you have already. But I wish we could have moved on together. Life just seems so unfair. I love you. I will move on, even though that’s the last thing I want to do x