aexander

Thanks so much for the replies, Jake212 and 11flower. It's been almost 2 weeks we haven't met with each other (At the moment we're on our 3 weeks end of semester break). I purposely did not want to contact him since the 1st day we had our holiday cause i thought i wanted to give him (and myself) some space. During the 2 weeks, i did not receive any text or call from him. I think it's kinda hard for me not to have any communication with him. Kept thinking about him every single day. I really want to talk to him about this issue, and i really want to know where i stand in this friendship (Am i still his best friend?). Just before we had our holidays, everything seemed normal between us in the Uni. We would talk with each other with some other friends of ours about regular stuffs we normally would talk about, but the strange thing is that, when it comes to the lunch time, he would go out with his other friends without inviting me along, he would just disappear (we always have our lunch together in Uni for 3 yrs). I really dont know if he just pretended that we were okay in front of the other friends. I try not to be pessimistic though, but sometimes you cant just heelp it. I did ask him before if everything is okay between us and he insisted that everything is ok. I dont know, but i try to believe him. Anyway, i dont know if i should contact him now or not??, i was thinking of sending him a text message, just to check how is he doing, but i dont know how or why, i just got this feeling that he won't reply my text msg. I will be seeing him again next year though, but we will be on different class this time. Won't be seeing him everyday like we used to. Thanks for reading, and i appreciate any reply very much.

Dear Prosper, Looker, chblueguy, 11flower and Jake212, thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond to my post. Appreciate it so much. For one thing, I was always curious about his sexuality (whether he is straight or bi) and the more we got to know each other, the more curious I become. Every time we hang out together, I sometimes noticed him secretly checks other guys out (he checks other girls too). And sometimes he would comment on how good looking the guy or how cool his hair is or how broad their chest is (he gave me compliments the first time we met in class). The other day, we were watching some straight porn and I heard him saying the guy in that movie was not good looking. That gave me a little bit of a shock. There were several times when I tried to bring up some gay issues; for instance we were watching a soccer match on TV, and the guy managed to score a goal and one of his team players kissed him on the lips. I spontaneously asked him if he thinks that guy is gay. He just gave me a shrug. So I continued telling him I've been kissed by a guy before in the same situation as the guy who scored that goal, but he didn't respond, either he was genuinely not interested or just too embarrass to talk about it, I don't know. These are the reasons why I dare to make those stupid acts (the groping and kissing) while he was sleeping, and one thing for sure, I will not do something like this if I was very confident the guy next to me is 100% straight. But then again, whether he was gay, bi or straight, I know it is still wrong to commit such acts, especially without that person consent. 11flower-I guess you are right, neither both of us wanted to acknowledge it and talk about it, since it may have embarrassed him as much as I'm. But Right now, as Jake212 said, I'm giving him the space he wants (he's having his exams this week so I don't want this thing to affect his study) and at the same time I'm giving my self some space (and break too) to think about this thing. Will try to find the right time to sit and talk with him about this issue. Of course, I will definitely say hi and ask how things are if I see him, just to let him know that I still want him to be my friend. Last time I met him, we did talk for a very short while (about his preparation for this exam), he was still "cordial" (lacking of word there). Another thing, I'm very much in a closet right now regarding my sexual orientation, I think I'll be taking the risks of losing more friends if I were to tell them that i'm bisexual, especially to my guy friends, they would propably avoid me as they may think i've feelings for them. Once again, thank you for reading and responding to my posts. Appreciate it so much. I appologize for the long post again.

Well this is about my relationship with my best friend which has been bothering me quite a lot, and I hope someone can shed some light here. I am extremely sorry if the post is too long. First let me just start by telling you a bit about my self. I'm a 23 y/o bisexual male (which I just realized I'm bi), had few relationships with women but never with men. 3 years ago, I met a friend (we were in the same class) whom I consider to be my best friend. Almost everyone in our department knows that we're inseparable, always hanging out together, flirting with girls, supporting each other (not to mention I invest on him quite a lot), went on a trip together and he would sleep at my place whenever there's a chance. As time passed by and the more time we spent together, I developed some sort of deep feelings toward him, but I've always try my best to hide it. I'm not sure whether he is bi or gay, if u ask. About two days ago we just got back from a 1 week holiday. It all started on the last day of our vacation, when we were sleeping together (we were on the same bed), I woke up around 5am (he was still sleeping) and I did something really stupid which I regretted so much and wish it didn't happen. I don't know what came over me that time, but I touched his d*** and rubbed it lightly for few seconds, and knowing his face was right next to mine, i kissed his lips for just a second (it was more of a light peck actually) and to my shock he was awaken by it. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to go back to sleep after which he said (in a slightly serious tone), "did u just kissed me?", I didn't reply, he asked a few times but I didn't reply. Man, god knows how I felt that time, I was so damn embarrassed and scared. Later that morning, we got ready our stuffs and went to the airport. I thought everything was just normal that day and we didn't talk about what had happened. But, I sensed he was acting differently the next day we met at the Uni, we didn't talk much (this is very unusual) and I wanted to ask him out for a lunch (this is what we always do everyday, going out for a lunch together), but he told me he has already been offered by some other friends, I thought he would ask me to join him but he didn't offer. What's more surprising to me was that he just disappeared after our afternoon lecture and I didn't get the chance to talk to him. I'm just so confused right now. I don't know if I freaked him out the other night. I just felt extremely bad and utterly depressed about the whole thing. I think I've just ruined this friendship and I really can't accept this. I still have this guilt which I can't seem to get over it. I really want us to be normal again but I don't know what to do here. One thing for sure, I really don't want to lose him, we had a great friendship before. A million thanks in advanced.