Will2080

Yes, it's only 3 days since the message of the separation. The pain and sadness become more and more each day pass. I don't know what I should do. Everyday it's just crying my time away. I know and I agree with the separation but it's very pain. Married for 3 years and know each other for 8 years. I know we both are having depression and under medication, I know alot of advices seem so ideal initially that giving each other space is the best solution. I am not getting any better. Was off the medication for one week and now I have to be back to medication again. Yes, I wanted to pretend as if I am strong to see you walk away but deep down in me, I am crying so hard that I wish I can turn back whatever had happen. Neither both of us planned for this. I know that's nothing I can do anything about it anymore but to let you go. I really wish I can be independent like you. You are everything to me, I know I have not been able to be myself due to my chronic illness for the past 5 months but we are both trying. Now you have snapped and walk away to heal yourself which is not wrong. I am still trying to find my strength to walk away. I really love you alot. I really can't live my day like this which I know my depression will only worsen my health. I tried everything I can to avoid this separation and maybe not hard enough. I know I was not treating you well enough too. We know we both hurt us with words. But that's not in the right state of our mind. Now I strongly can understand why you will wake up in the middle of the night having cold sweat and cry. I guess it's my karma. I am having this now everyday. I know you need your space without me. It's pain. Very pain. I don't know if I can cope with for how long. I don't wanna go take the medication again. What should I do? I have no interests in anything for now. I know the people beside are worry for me but I feel like hiding away from everything.