unmoved

the only thing is that i worry that will push him too much. he relaxes more when we are under the term 'friends' even when our actual relationship says otherwise. i recognize that he has a lot of issues that ill have to help him work passed if i want to continue this, but i cant help the way i feel. i really dont understand wanting to be alone, when there is someone you like that has feelings for you too. that is the thing i keep finding myself wondering.

heres the problem--i did ask him. and he said he liked me as more than a friend, that he wanted to have a relationship. i actually got up the courage to do it. but then he contradicted himself later on and now i am quite confused. sorry for the lengthy prior post, but its a complicated situation. what i need help in is figuring out how to help him, really...

Over the summer a male friend of mine and i got close. we started seeing each other all the time, talking for hours. we got along great. soon i started to feel more for him and was sure he felt the same...but because he was shy nothing ever happened. then, the day before he was supposed to leave and go back to college i told him how i felt and asked him if he felt the same. he seemed surprised and happy by this (i am shy as well, but i really had to know) and flattered that i did feel that way. he said he had to think about it though, because he had never been in a relationship and to start with a long distance one was a big thing also. he managed to leave a bit later for school, so we saw each other again and he told me he did want to have a relationship with me. things started to progress, but very slowly. i had been used to guys being comfortable touching and being close to me, but he admited that he didnt like contact much, it made him nervous. i missed him while he was away, and as a loner he didnt always feel like talking. it was hard for him to express what he was feeling, because he had never been open with anyone before. so i could never be sure how he felt. next time we were together, i spoke to him again and asked what was going on. he said that he knew he wasnt doing his part, but that he couldnt help it when some days he wanted to be with me and others he just wanted to be alone. that maybe he would just be better off by himself for the rest of his life and thats the way he had felt for a while. now, some people might say this was his way of just letting me down...but hes never had a girl friend and is a very shy person. he was telling me the truth. what does confuse me is that he contradicts himself. like telling me he wants to be with me but then doesnt want to be with anyone. i accepted that he was confused and we decided to keep trying but also see other people if someone came alone (although he added it meant i could see other people because he wasnt interested in any) so does that mean he wasnt trying to tie me down to someone like himself? i am so lost by this. i care abut him so much and never want to hurt him, but this is constantly hurting me. we are together as friends now, i suppose...but nothing has changed. we still hang out all the time, go places privatly that everyone says are dates. i even have some of my stuff at his house for when i stay on breaks. we make plans for months in advance for things we want to do together. and i never see his eyes light up as much as when he sees me. the only thing missing is the physical relationship (kissing etc) and a little emotional. but i still feel like he cares about me as more than a friend...which is something he has admitted to me several times. but i dont understand why he doesnt want to be in a relationship then. i told him i dont mind if he needs his time and space. i respect that. i am so confused...and it hurts because i care about him so much. if anyone can give me advice id really appreciate it. this has been bothing me for some time now and i really dont know what to do. i cant just get over it because i feel too strongly. and despite all the problems we might face i would really like to make this work. i just dont know how to go about doing that. any guys sort of like him, please give me your take on this. thank you in advance!