ThePoodle

When you finally contacted me almost two months ago, my heart leapt for joy. When you told me that you felt like you could only be happy here with me and that you couldn't see having a family with anyone but me, I felt like I was on the top of the world. All I had to do was wait again for you to get back on your feet and figure out what you wanted to do in life. I was so happy, I wanted to wait for you and I still do. But now I feel like you're pulling away. I found out you made your casual relationship Facebook official and when I asked you about it weeks ago, you said you had ended it because you couldn't stop thinking about me. You used to text me so often, and wanting to know about me. But now its like you care less.... I found out this morning you spent time with the girl you casually dated. The entire weekend you didn't talk to me. I would've been fine and I would've understood...if the last time we were together you didn't hide your phone at an angle when we cuddled. I keep wanting to believe you and see it as normal. I want to ask you so badly....if you still feel the same way about me, if you changed your mind, if you still want so strongly to be with me, but I'm afraid if I do that, i'll push you away. I want to believe what you're telling me, but I'm so conflicted.... I'm a secret. Your parents know I'm still here because your car broke down. No one would've known know about me...but they'd see that you're with someone else. Because you said you decided to end it days before texting me and were going to leave it up there for who knows how long. I miss being with you, spending time together, spending the night. But I'm so afraid that you'll do what you did before. Change your mind but not tell me. Or worse. I believed the first time, you'd tell me if you. But I ended up finding out by asking you directly instead because you decided suddenly you wanted space from me. We talk only through text. We never talk on the phone or see each other often because I live two hours away. I can only continue to trust you that you aren't going to hurt me and that things will get better. You still have my pictures up and on your phone, you always text me and you always text me goodnight. You still talk to me about making plans to visit and I'm so happy you still do. But i'm so scared that I will get hurt again