inspiration

I'm stuck

lost wherever without you

now is the time

to get out

no why's, cries, or rhymes

just a door

hitting me on the way out

what's going on now?

i ask myself that

but i'm still trying

to figure this out

there's still things i want

this doesn't mean

i don't want you

or what you want

just not now

i'm learning how to die

each day through

i just have images

that remind me

of my struggle with myself

just to be with you

so i send you a

simple "see you later"

but all in all

what i really mean is a

harsh "see you never"

tears tears tears

-.ins

i can put on a face to make you smile

killing yourself at noon is no way to go

no one knows the story of your exile

you kept quiet and now moods are low

left me cold and it's only for awhile

moods come and go but now i'm not so sure

i can go on living like this, death is the cure

okay... it's alright seriously:

dew on grass

abandoned field

you and me

oh, grass stains

no, please stay

yes, please say

"I'm sorry"

that's what i want

to hear

i once wrote:

a poem with no meaning,

but that's hard to do,

seeeeeeeing as to how

it had some sort of meaning

before i was crying

now i'm happy

because i'm writing

should be studying

a's and b's never good enough

it's a shame you'll never

be able to call my bluff

this may seem odd but i can assure you i am alright.

Came here for a few months

Left without thinking once

Oh how i hate this place

So you coming with me?

Ever dream to be free?

Down by the river

On the way to

Where the water falls

Nobody knows our secret

Where the sun shines

Into your golden eyes

Time is no object

Happiness now gone

Meet me back here

Everyday we'll watch the sun

out of boredom i took to this:

lost a man once in a crowd

would have yelled

didn't know his name

wasn't waldo, willy, todd, or ted

the man had cancer

my girlfriend's grandpa

now he's dead

pretty sad, yes, lots of tears

incurable fears of death

it comes through every spectrum

one more lost

lost in a crowd

I think "I love you" means something different to each individual. I have not once said "I love you" to my girlfriend of 5 months because it seems like a big step for me to take.

I only think I should ask because she is still sort of uncomfortable with what my eyes are viewing. I reassure her constantly that she is astonishing... but she continues to be like this. It is sort of cute to me but when faced with situations like these it makes it difficult.

My gf and I have became very comfortable with eachother. However she seems a bit insecure about herself and where I look. Touching isn't any big deal with her... she gives me oral very often and I want to return the favor. How can I bring this up... she has suggested a few things herself and been comfortable to try new things. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

This is an awkward situation but I am looking for some insight. Has anyone ever experienced a lot of pressure while laying in bed? Usually it's all over my body and if I move quickly to "throw it off" it will return not too long after. My sleeping habbits are normal and I am just looking for other's opinions. Could it be something to do with sleep paralysis? It is really really creepy.

Thanks,

-.ins

She's 19... I like the playful nonsense we did before I tried to take it further, but that can only last so long I think.

I didn't take it personal but I know she thinks I did.

I think it's safe to assume she has not.

so do i talk to her?

well lately my girlfriend and I have been getting pretty physical... lot's of making out and touching.

I could sort of tell she has never did any of this before (me either) but she just seems really bad at everything we do. I'm not being mean or trying to degrade her... but it's nice when someone gives you the attention you give them.

So we are on her couch and I'm caressing her leg... she is rubbing my arm and I'm kind of using that to tell me if she is uncomfortable. I got a little too close I think and she stopped rubbing my arm... so i stopped.

Well then we just cuddle for awhile and she starts caressing my arm again, which ends up over her chest.

Then I go to kiss her again and she says she doesn't know what to do... she wants to do something but she doesn't know what to do.

i honestly think she felt bad but this could also be an excuse.

do i discuss this with her or just let it slide like nothing happened? I think I should discuss this with her but I don't want to make things anymore awkward.

I have been seeing a girl quite a bit for a month and a half... just the last few dates things have gotten heavier and it hurts to know we don't really have anything going besides dating. There is obvious physical and mental attraction, but I want a relationship. I don't know what to do, but I don't want to come off really soft and talk about this.

I hope it gets brought up by her, but if not I guess I'm going to have to do something to make it happen. There's just things I cannot let slip away and she seems to be one of them right now.

I've been highly attracted to other women quickly... but this particular one picked me apart before I really started liking her. I ran away at first because I didn't like it but now I miss it... and I don't want to see it all walk away.

But I'm not going to let her know how much I like it because I assume it will just bore her to death.

I would greatly appreciate your opinions or advice!

Thanks.

i just ask her how she is doing and what is going on then get to the point.

"You should come to dinner with me 'here' and I'll pick you up at 'time'"

Takes less than 2 minutes. I talk when I go out with them not on the phone. Everyone has their own thing though I guess.

congrats! as far as the days off go just ask what the process is and let them know you have a vacation planned. do it as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. I request my vacation off 2 months in advance. The sooner they know... the better chance you have at getting it off.

I think she would be more comfortable than I would for some reason. My mother is pretty opinionated which may lead to awkwardness but I think she would be able to hide keep it on the low.

Anyways I think it is best I ask her... We will most likely go out before that anyways as well.

Well My birthday is coming up and I have been out six to seven times with this girl... we recently got playful on the couch and I know she shares the same feelings for me... you think it would be okay for me to invite her to my birthday dinner with my parents? It'd really mean a lot to me if she did come along and meet them. Just curious if this is a good idea.

thanks,

.ins

Sometimes what you get turns out to be better than what you thought you wanted.

amen.

I put off seeing this girl who was interested for about 4-5 months... well she was still waiting around after I ran around with 3 other girls. That was a real turn on... suprisingly enough she is the most real of them all and interesting as well... and the best looking in her own cute way!

i didn't think i wanted anything with her... but she's just so addicting because I can be myself around her which is very difficult for me to do with the majority of people.

so yeah... DN is right!

I'm going through this right now too. I have been out with her 4-5 times, the first time a friend of hers came along I think to kind of break the ice between us. after spending last night together I think it is only right to let her know how I feel about her.

What stops me from being able to do this is the fact that I do not want to ruin what we have (although I know it won't).

So when I speak with her later I'm just thinking of telling her that I like her and being around her.

I have never really did this before and the whole "exclusive" thing is very new to me... so I hope I go about it the right way.

Sorry if I hijacked this topic but I was going to post another topic very similar...

and your probing skills are really good.

well I gave him advice about this online relationship thing and he didn't take it... so that kind of hurt... he knows how I feel now.

But the fact of the matter is it just sucks growing up... He is 3 years older and I am quite a bit more mature so it just sort of hurts to see the people I care about getting their own life.

Anyways I made plans with the woman so it's alright. You can't always get what you want... besides me and him are spending tomorrow together. I am just worried that he does not know what he is getting himself into with this trip.

sorry if all that sounds confusing... but the whole situation with him is very confusing since I love him as a friend but have a really poor opinion of him as an individual due to some of the choices he has made.

.ins

Well my friend of 15 years is leaving to go see a woman he met online next weekend. Problem is... that it is my 20th bday the day after he leaves. I'm pretty upset and feeling odd about this. We didn't have plans but he knew very well it was my birthday. I don't know... it sucks when you assume someone cares and then they walk all over you for someone else. I guess I can ask this girl I have been seeing out and just be happy with that... but I'd much rather spend my day with my best friend.

I just hate having this feeling that I'm the only one who cares about other's feelings. I won't bring this up with him because he is looking forward to his trip... but to forget your best friend, and neighbors, birthday that's pretty low if you ask me.

just a rant really... advice or suggestions on things to do on my bday are welcome as well!

thanks,

.ins

I'm not seeking advice but more or less just posting a happy rant about meeting someone I really like. When I think about all the people who I love and cherish to have as friends I feel really blessed. Sure we have our rough times, but who doesn't?

Now some of my friends I just wonder if some of them come around for what I have or the type of things I like and not me. But it feels really good to know that someone wants to be around you for who you are. It is sad how all this came about but maybe it is for the best. I first wanted to make friends with a girl to get closer to her friends (all of which are very classy and attractive). But I started to date this girl and I didn't even really realize I was attracted to her until we went out the last time. Sure... this may sound like cliche "friend-zoned" material but I honestly do not care, nor do I feel that way.

I was afraid that I would fall for this girl who really didn't seem to have much to offer, but now I realize how much she does have to offer. As I analyze our conversations she constantly picks me apart... she constantly picks everything I do apart. Not in a nagging sort of a way but in a healthy sort of way. I really think some of the things she suggests could change me for the better. I get goosebumps and smile while I type that.

What's best is that I know she is interested because I know one of her friend's relatives and whatever she is telling her friend's relative is being relaying back to me. I've really fell for a lot of women before but usually it dies off after about 2 weeks and I really do not care. It is funny because usually something I like right away, I end up hating later. But something that I cannot stand right away, or see any hope in liking it... I grow really really attached to - and that is what's happening right now.

Sure this may not be all that it seems to me and I may be building myself up to be smashed into little bits, but I have never honestly felt like this before. I don't know what will come out of this or what is capable of happening, but I do now that I have met some real quality people.

I guess I'm just expressing how I feel about a person and my friends in general. I'm thankful for the ones I have now... and look forward to cherishing the ones I have not met yet.

goodnight,

.ins

i'm a sucker for requiem for a dream. i love that film with all my heart. it's just so sad that something is capable of destroying lives like that... no matter how old you are.

i'd get there quick and try to set the bar high.

3 hour span... hmmm never heard of that. Are they doing like open interviews or something? I'd say just be there the earlier you can within that 3 hour span to show that you are really interested.

Canned answers are the answers that you already have ready in your mind for specific questions. If you get one of those questions don't just blurt out your answer right away. Instead just respond like you did with all the other questions prior to that. Quick thinking minds that can formulate quality answers or suggestions are always an asset.

And knowing about the company as stated above is very useful as well.

again, good luck!

.ins

here's my job interview techniques I'm 5/5 with my interviews with State Farm Insurance:

1. be on time.

2. dress appropriately.

3. I always introduce myself with a big smile, confident voice, and firm handshake.

4. take what they offer you.

5. Do not cross your arms or lean back. This makes it look like you are in a defensive state.

6. Instead, lean into the conversation... look engaged.

7. If they ask you a situational question and you have never been in that situation. Don't just say "I haven't ever experienced that". What I have done is the following: "Well I can honestly say that I have no been in that situation before but if I was I would have handled it the following way...."

8. Eye contact... I usually look away every 2 to 3 seconds.

I feel that 7 has saved me so many times. Don't think about it too much though because you don't want to let them know you have played the situation through a lot. "Canned" answers are no good... and I know that for a fact.

good luck.

.ins

hard to get sucks to play... it's even worse to be on the receiving end.

although i'm a guy i've been leading this girl on for about 3 months and i'm finally letting her come around. and i am coming around as well.

it's an odd situation, but i'm an odd person.

she's getting a phone call tomorrow because it's time to cut the crap and date her.

yeah we called like a month or so after.

they said give it another month.

I too had to sign a consent form, but please... you can't just let someone hang out to dry whenever something like this happens.