In September 2002 i was diagnoised with a terminal disease. My ex fiance of 4 years broke up with me in January 04. She claims she never loved me romantically. There were indications that she was withdrawing from me. Perhaps the burden of my disease was overwhelming. I will never know because she is a rock when it comes to expressing feelings. I mourned for three months after we split and tried every trick in the book to win her back. She rushed in to a relationship right after i left that one failed and now shes rushing in to another. We are friends and she calls often. My problem is i love her so much. I constantly think about her and her new boyfriend. I try to explain to her i cant go start a new life like her or anyone else. I am dying and i am house bound. I am forced to sit and think. I so want her to be happy, but i want to be happy too. I cant spend the rest of my life obssesing over her!! I want to be free and happy. Any suggestions or feedback is greatly appreciated. Thanks for listening.
