Getting there

3 weeks, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since we last talked. It's been so strange going from talking everyday to not talking at all, but I AM FINE. Despite the pain I felt when I found out you cheated, I'm doing really well! I questioned everything and the past 3 years when it happened, but after much thought, I don't think my memories are wrong. We loved each other very much, but you also liked the attention someone else was giving you as well. We just grew into different people and you made some bad decisions. There was a lack of integrity and respect there, and I have no doubt you'll continue to treat this new girl the same way until she realizes that she deserves better. I think about you everyday and I miss my best friend, but that will pass with time. I don't doubt you ever loved me, but I know I deserve more than you can ever provide. I don't wish you any pain, but I never want to see or speak to you ever again. I am happy without you in my life.

I carried you and held you up for so long never receiving anything in return. You weighed me down and made it difficult to hold my head up. Moving on and feel so much lighter without you as baggage.

In all my life, I have never known anyone to be as cruel and intentionally vicious as you. Not only are you a pathological liar, but you have no shame or remorse for the hurtful actions you commit towards other people. You compensate for your lack of intelligence and conscience with lies and ploys that can only temporarily hide the gaping hole of an absent soul. Do you ever consider anybody’s feelings or the consequences of your actions? You have no redeeming qualities, only callousness and malice. Not only do you lack integrity and moral character, but you are a disgusting and deceitful human being. Just a word of advice: if you don’t want to be white trash, then don’t act like white trash. You should seek help for your psychopathic tendencies if you ever wish to grow as a human being and develop authentic relationships with others. My hope is that one day you will learn to live with compassion, kindness, honesty and respect for others. Regards PS. I hate you both.

So, here goes, my first post. Sorry if I'm venting too much! Almost 2 weeks ago, I found out the love of my life had been cheating. He was in the shower and his phone lit up with a text from a woman I did not know. I shouldn't have and in the 3 years we've been together, I have never felt compelled to look at his phone, but something told me to look. And there it was, weeks worth of texts and pictures. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and I started to have a panic attack. I couldn't breathe, my heart was aching, my ears were ringing, and I wanted to throw up. And I ran. I grabbed my things and left for good. Imagine his surprise when he got out of the shower and didn't see me or my things there anymore. He called and texted a few times that day, but that's it. Once I calmed down, I decided to contact this "other woman" to get some clarity on the situation. I shared texts and photos to show her that we were indeed in a relationship and in "love." Probably not the smartest thing I've done, but hey, I needed answers. She said they had no idea who I was and couldn't believe he would do that. She confirmed my worst fears and that he did indeed cheat on me with her. She also said that he asked her to be his gf the day after I walked out. When she confronted him, he told her he only loved me as a friend. She believed him of course and told me she will continue to see him because he was not dishonest with her, just me. I lost my mind. Are there actually women like this? She said that they love each other and her feelings for him are really strong, and she wants to stay. UGH!! In my mind, I don't want him, but my heart misses my best friend. I'm trying my best not to contact him, especially knowing she's probably with him, but I feel like I'm losing control. I threw my phone under my bed to stop myself. Are there any other suggestions on what I should do?