stoligirl

I just saw your post. I haven't visited this site for many months, but am going through a break up of a different kind, and needed some support. Perhaps the best way I can help myself today is by listening to what you are going through and let you know that I understand....I do. I know how it feels when your heart actually hurts, and there's NOTHING anyone can say or do to help you snap out of it. What I can offer you is my sincere hope that you get through this, and that I wish you kindness and compassion, and healing thoughts. I could tell you about my experience from over a year ago, but really, it's unimportant. You're hurting, and it's sometimes easier to talk to strangers than it is to talk to your friends. Just know that this site is one of the best, and there are so many stories, and we all can somehow relate to the heartbreak that invaribly happens in our lives. It didn't matter what people told me when I went through my first serious heartbreak. It didn't matter that all the cliche's they shared were true, that time would heal the wounds, that I would be able to open my heart again and find another love. I just wanted that person back, the one I wanted to grow old with. It's OK to keep crying, just be sure to keep working, or going to school, or doing all the things that you need to do to survive. Just know that you're not alone, and that I'm hurting today, too. Perhaps the pain we feel will guide us to making better choices next time.

I scrapbooked old pictures, I wrote all my thoughts in a journal, I e-mailed myself, text messages, voice mails....all to myself. Anything that permitted me to get the thoughts out but not call or e-mail to her. I feel now like the only thing this is doing is making me feel more alone. I don't do it as much as I used to. I'm down to once every week, or so. I try to not bring it up with friends, and when they ask, I smile and say, "Yep, I'm doing great!" Unfortunately, it's so different on the inside. I hope that the relationship she left me for is worth it for her, and helping her make good choices that she apparently couldn't make with me. However, there is a terribly selfish part of me that wants her relationship with that woman to end. I wouldn't wish the pain I went through on anyone. I just wish she at least missed me enought to call once and a while. That's what hurts. She doesn't care about me AT ALL. : ( It makes me feel like even more of a fool, missing her. I do appreciate all the kind words and advice. It's nice to know I'm 'not alone.' -

The love of my life left me last September. We were together for 3 1/2 years. We were engaged, and planned to marry eachother. She left me for someone else. At what point does someone move on? I'm STILL devastated, and miss her so much. The big problem is that I want to welcome a new love into my life, who is so much better for me, but I still catch myself feeling tragic at times without the ex. What kinds of steps can I take to move on? I don't want to cry anymore. I just want to be happy and live my life, and not miss the ex anymore. Is it possible???