Zard0z

BH, Its about this time of year that you'd be moving to full-time ststus with your job. I always thought we'd celebrate this day together. But it just wasn't meant to be. I still care for you a lot and so thats why I'm congratulating you here and not through direct contact. It would be selfish of me to do otherwise. So here it is: To the one I used to call, 'babe', Congratulations! I'm so proud of you for everything you've done and all the hard work you've put in. I was so happy watching you graduate and land such a fitting job. I was glad to be someone you could turn to when you faced all the self-doubt after being rejected by other companies. But you're on your own two feet now, and you can make it without me. Its time for me to face my own struggles with finding something I can build a foundation on in my life. I'll likely face the same pain you did at times. But if I follow he same advice I gave to you, 'the strength comes from inside you not me' I know I can get where I want to be. You've got a great life ahead of you, and I suspect I've got potential as well. I hope our paths cross again some time. Good Luck, the one you used to call, 'babe'

Hey ex, Another rough day. Rough mostly because it was such a great day... weird huh? Well hear me out. I got to dress up as Santa and hand out presents to a bunch of 6 year olds. I loved it, it felt grest seeing them smile and taking pictures. After that I went out and bought myself a DSLR camera. Which I plan to use on my trip to Vietnam over Christmas. It was bad too because I wanted you to see me doing all these things. See me confident and role-playing. See me embark on a new hobby and add another chapter to my life's story woth this trip to Vietnam. You broke up with me after you basically forced me to go to Thailand on my own. I loved it. But I didnt love how you broke up with me just days after it. But, this is MY life now. Its not OUR life anymore. I can let you go. This is my New Year's resolution.

X, It's been 3 mos. Three cold, tough months filled with self-doubt, shame, reflection, confusion, anxiety and growth. I do feel more centered than I did a few weeks ago, and I hope my attempts at contact and gestures toward friendliness weren't taken the wrong way. But it doesn't matter what you think anymore. Regardless of what my own confused intentions may be, I really must stop it. I'm in a new relationship now and I can't jeopardize it or hurt her. I don't think I can get you out of my head so easily. But I can at least recognize the reality that YOU are not coming back. there is no burden on me to please you anymore. There is no burden on me to prove to you that I'm not the person I think you thought I was (what a mouthful). I don't need to know about you or your new relationship. And I honestly can so for once that I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. I need to work on me now (like I have been doing since before and after the breakup) You are not coming back. That relationship is far gone now. We changed so much, not even in bad ways, but we changed. From now on, when I think of you, I will remind myself of the following: "Its over." "I'm free." "I don't have to please you." "I don't have to care about you." I'll be fine as long as I continue to work on the person I want to be. There is a lot more to life in front of me. I can go out and grab it. I won't let my past selves get in the way of all the things I want to do and try. I will be focused. I will be strong. I won't let the fear of letting go control me. I can move, am moving, and will move on. With a fond memory of what once was, but without a longing pulling me back there and dragging me down.