lngdistancebu

Dumped on November, my birth month. "What it all boils down to is my feelings changed" "I'm 100% sure of my decision...and we are never getting back together" You douche. You've allowed yourself to become a douche. Jeeeerk!!! It hurts so freaking bad. I never imagined you could be so callous. "I don't feel bad for you. Everyone goes through this at some point or another...getting dumped sucks. I went through it twice and it was awful, but you get over it" How dare you compare your teenage flings with our relationship, you jerk??? You said it took you three to six months to get over each of them...but neither one of them lasted longer than six months!! We were together in a long distance relationship for three years and eight months and were just months away from moving in together. Am I supposed to grieve for three years??? How can you yell at me that it "just sucks" and disregard that implication?? You say you feel young again. You idiot, you're only 25!! How old could I have made you feel?? Even if you really believed that, you wouldn't even have gotten to the stupid fountain of youth (ie. law school) without my consistent support! You were headed toward loserdom...even your dad told me he feared that. You had absolutely no ambition. I genuinely believed in you, your intelligence, your eloquence, and I supported you as best I could...pushed you forward when you doubted yourself and then you dumped me within months of starting school. You made friends as immature as you are. Yeah, that's what I really think. Your stupid Pokemon-loving friends who you sit around and gossip with about the other cliques. How freaking lame. I can't believe I've been outranked by those idiots. Don't you see you're just acting like a high schooler again?? I should have known better. You would keep repeating stories from high school and it got so annoying after the first year. You stopped talking about it after I called you out on it, but I should have known you were still stuck in that stage of your life. All these years, the lamest thing you did was play League of Legends. Otherwise, you would read up on economics and politics. You're a smart kid, but I should have known you'd pounce on the opportunity to re-immerse yourself in that sophomoric lifestyle. Yes, I wanted you to demonstrate some commitment to me like an adult, but this is beyond unfair. I wasn't expecting marriage right away. I wanted to break up with you so many times before, but you would insist on making it work and every time I would make an effort to recover some love for you. Last time I really wanted to leave you was a year ago. You refused to accept that and I gave you a great year during which I finally convinced you to apply to grad/law school. Before that, I had convinced you to finish your freaking BA, you jerk!!! You were so against it at first and thought it worthless. You would say you would end up working in Panera anyway. How right was I? COMPLETELY RIGHT!! When you dumped me, I really loved you. I had gone through weeks of insecurity during which I had been dreading getting dumped and at the same time hoped that we could fix it next time we'd meet in December. We had gone through so many difficulties, mainly those created by distance. Distance was never what I wanted for us. I would never recommend distance to anyone. I'm definitely never doing this ever again. We never went through anything this bad when we were in the same place. It was only in the months we spent apart, but you didn't give me that benefit this time, even after I had bought the departure ticket. I still can't bring myself to cancel it. These past weeks I've been doubting myself and feeling guilty as hell. I never thought you were capable of making me feel this way. I've been so depressed, I stopped going to grad school during what you know is the worst month for me. I am still contemplating quitting completely. All our plans went out the window. I told you this and you acted indifferently. Who have you become??? Do you realize that with your history of healing from getting dumped, YOU WOULD STILL BE GETTING OVER ME if I'd left you a year ago???? In fact, you wouldn't even be halfway through getting over me, and I assure you that you wouldn't be enjoying that life the way you are because you wouldn't have even thought of applying in the first place!!! You ungrateful jerk!!!! I was never this mean to you because I loved and respected you. I never addressed you with any epithets or hostile language, but this is how I feel now. This is what your selfish decision has affected me. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET OVER YOU!!! I CAN'T WAIT TIL I CAN MAKE FUN OF YOU WITHOUT FEELING GUILTY BECAUSE I STILL LOVE YOU!! Everyone says I should think about your bad qualities, things to make fun of you with, but I can't help thinking that you might be doing the same thing with me and it breaks my heart!! I don't deserve any of this!!!! I was so devoted to you!!!!