hopeless87

I’ve wanted to write to you for such a long time but that time never seemed right. I can remember all our adventures, our love, our sweet kisses and passionate caresses as faded memories that happened to someone else in another time. Sometimes I desperately wanted to call out to you and hope you heard. I would look up into the sky and I thought perhaps somewhere you were looking at the same stars I was. All of that was shattered however when I discovered you were not pining away but had very much moved on. So I did to. I erased your memory from my digital and physical world. I cried. I mourned not for you but for a future I thought we had once long ago. And during that period of time I discovered things that I always knew about you but never wanted to face. Things I hated and these things helped me understand why you most likely had to move on so quickly and why you hated many parts of me too. There is no right way of saying to someone you once loved that you now hate them and I hated you for a very long time… but something kept pulling at that hatred and I realized that I will and always have a deep love for you as a human being. As someone I was close too and trusted. As someone who I envisioned as always being an important factor in my life journey. Sometimes friends come in and out of your life. I remember best friends I had when I was a child always thinking they would be there forever, because at that point in your life they are the most important people in your life. You were the most important person in my life at that time. I am now moving on to a point where now I have a new important person in my life. Me. I am doing things for me, study, business, relationships, friends. I am choosing people and activities that make me a better person. That make me feel special and wanted. All the things that I have invested in you. You will always be important but no longer my priority. I can see very clearly I am no longer your priority and I can tell I have moved on from us because it no longer hurts when I think of someone else holding you. I no longer feel upset imagining another’s lips on yours. It does not matter. I guess I got upset because you were once so important and I wanted to see why because I have since forgotten...