*I'm not a published writer, just someone who enjoys CW immensely so please don't take my criticism to heart.*
Whoa, this one fell between the cracks on ENA. Can't believe no one commented on it for 4 months!
Firstly and most importantly the prose is wonderfully written throughout the entire section.
Though it is a bit wordy sometimes. Every sentence is a bit too descriptive, though I understand sometimes necessary for the setting ("The trees held a frightened appearance..."). But some of the sentences are very close to being construed as run-ons ("The river, serving as a faithful guide, continued to lead the men..."). You could chop that sentence into two and still keep that incredible atmosphere, in my opinion.
But, again, it is written with an very good control of imagery and descriptions. It just gets lost sometimes in the imagery. So this troupe of horsemen are trapped in this dark, hellish forest, right? End up stumbling upon a curious, yet chilling girl and one of the horseman panics and ends up shooting her. She goes flying into a wild river and Edward and Marshmallow leaps into save her? Right off the bat I like the suspense and mystery. Can't quite tell if that girl is really a witch in the disguise of a girl or simply an innocent girl victimized by a man turned "lame" (to use a horse term).
And finally, is it historical fiction or just a pure fantasy yarn?
P.S.: You wouldn't be a poet, would you? I read this book a while back written by a poet-turned-author who had a highly-specialized control over prose. I mean, he wrote the entire book as if it were a poem. It was of a highly similar vein as this story (post-colonial times, monster inhabiting the woods, incredible prose) so much I'm wondering if you're actually him! I've forgotten the author and that work, though....just seems like a poet is skilled enough to keep the same level of description throughout the story.