deathistheonlyway

i just cannot trust a lot of people i overheard people talking behind my back i just kept quiet i love my parents and siblings and my best friends....i dont want to make them upset but i told them how i feel that i wanted to be a soldier, a hero i didnt want to die old im a very good student in school i maintain very good grades....all my teachers love me....i am in an NJROTC unit and im in the top 5 out of 180 cadets....but something keeps popping inside my head " i want to die " and i dont know why

i wanted to be in the marines too to die for the country....it was my only dream....until i heard i couldnt join because of my hearing...im not deaf

i just want to die....i rather be in heaven than on earth....i know lots of people love me and all, but for some reason i just want to die....any ways of killing myself painlessly and ill tell GOD to forgive everything you did...