Shaft

Thanks for the reply. It seems like you know what youre talking about. I guess I forgot to mention, she IS on mental medication for ADHD. That may affect her, although it hadnt in the past. And for the record, she does say shes completely in love with me. And she always calls me to go hang out with her, and we have fun. I guess Im afraid that this sex thing will drive us apart. Lack of intimacy can cause problems, and I dont want that to happen. I dont care about the actual physical side of sex. Im afraid we'll be forever afraid of sex and thatll kill our relationship. Its a self damaging loop. Im gonna lay off of it for some time. But for how long? Should I talk to her about sex till then or no? I do spend alot of nights over at her place. Should I try to be "romantic" and start something or just not do anything at all? --Shaft

Hello folks, Im new to this but my heart is in pain and I need help. Im 22 and Ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years (shes 20 now), and I cannot describe how much I love her. For the past 2 months or so, she hasnt been as sexual as she used to be. We used to have sex and love it, but it now its nothing like that. Shes almost never in the mood, and just seems like she hates sex. I keep talking to her to ask her if its anything about me, or if theres something shes worried about or anything like that, but all she can say is "I dont know whats wrong with me". Ive told her over and over that if shes needs to be with someone else, or if she feels like we're not working out, that she can break up with me and that I'll completely understand. She says no but I still cant be convinced. Now its become stressful to her to talk about sex, and that just makes things worse. It makes her stress about it, and it makes me worry more, which stresses her even more. I dont know what to do, and I dont know how to find out whats wrong. Ive tried all the conventional ways: I had many serious talks with her, she even talked to her parents to try to figure it. I tried giving it time to see what happens, but nothing... I feel helpless. Does anyone have any "outside the box" insight as to figuring out whats wrong? Should I "force" a break between us so she can figure it out or what?? please help, --Shaft