Axel

No, I really don't think she is attracted to someone else already. I've put some pressure on her lately, trying to convince here to go to college where I live and learning my language which she still hasn't tried to do even though we are dating for almost three years now. She was very busy with school, taking a lot of AP classes and stuff so I wasn't upset or anything. She told me that it almost feels like as if we were engaged already. She said she wanted to know for sure if she wanted to do all these things and she wanted to find out how much she would miss me when "taking a break". Also, her parents had a back and forth relationship when they were younger and now they are happily married to each other so maybe she thinks she could achieve the same effect. They have a lot of control over her so they might have supported that idea.

Hello there, It isn't easy for me to share this with anyone really but I need help because I am afraid and hurt and just need someone's opinion on this other than my friends or family. I met this girl in San Francisco, while being a German exchange student 2002/2003, and we completely fell in love. Even though I was only 18 and she was 16 we felt that we were made for each other and we decided to live in a long distance relationship until we could live together which we thought would be three years later. Inspite of our age we have been keeping it up for almost two and a half years. We saw each other 2-3 times a year, spending all the money we had on plane tickets. We never doubted that we could make it, we were even talking about engagement and both felt surprisingly comfortable with all the comittment to each other. We never cheated on each other during this time, not even a kiss, knowing that we are both very sensitive human beings who couldn't deal with the emotional pressure of an "open relationship" and never had the desire anyway. Whenever we saw each other it was like heaven. I am making plans to move to California next summer to attend the same college she is attending and I am already in the process of applying. We are also looking for plane tickets to see each other over Christmas again. I think she always suffered a little more from being apart, really craving the physical closeness. Today, she all of the sudden suggested to "take a break" from our relationship for 1-2 months. She wants to not talk to me on the phone as often anymore, have more freedom, enough space to think about us and she wants to feel free to kiss another guy if she wants to. She assured me that she loved me and that she still wanted to come over here over Christmas. For me though, this feels terrible and devastating. I love to talk to her on the phone, it gives me energy and helps me deal with the situation. I also had to summon up a lot of courage to decide to study in the USA and did a lot of work for it already and now, everything is put into jeopardy all of the sudden. The thing that bothers me the most though is the idea of her making out with someone else. I am probably as jealous as any other guy would be but I am also extremely sensitive and would just feel terribly hurt even if she told me in advance that it might happen. It is as if our perfect relationship got damaged. I never doubted this relationship but obviously she isn't so sure about it or needs to get more confident in it again. I feel miserable because it seems as if I love her more than she loves me. I tried to convince here that it would suck for me to always wonder wether she had been making out with someone else or not but she didn't want to make any promises. To me, a kiss is something very intimate, almost as much as sex so that it feels like cheating to me. I'm twenty years and for three years now I never had the need to "try someone else". What if she tells me after the 1-2 months that it was over? Or if she doesn't how am I gonna get over my feelings when she admits that she kissed someone else - it might affect the two weeks together over Christmas in a negative way and then in the next 6 months until the summer we will both remember a crappy Christmas. I am so in love with her, she can hurt me so easily and so deeply... Please help me, Axel