I appreciate you calling me today and being so generous with your time...I understand that your kids come first and yes, building a relationship with them is important...but what I don't understand is how you've been preparing me to deal with being a step mom to three kids this past year, than all of a sudden leaving me in the cold and telling me that the only relationship you can concentrate on is with your kids. I know I'm not at a maturity level as a 35 year old woman with kids...I'm 25 and lack the the responsibilities you do but that doesn't mean I wasn't willing to try. I appreciate you "giving me permission" to move on with my life but I honestly hope you weren't lying when you said when you are ready for a relationship with someone other than your kids, it would be with me...but than again, hmmm....what was this past year? An appetizer of what could potentially be? I truly was a midlife crisis for you, wasn't I....than s**t got too real? Or what? If you are so set on not being with me than why do you care if I have slept with anyone since you been gone? I wasn't lying when I told you I haven't...If you failed to notice you became my everything...I find it hard to find anyone as remotely attractive as you...every other guy out there seems to lack complete sex appeal in comparison to you. I am going out tonight....I am actually going to do my hair and my make up and dress nice for the fist time since you've left...not for anyone else, but myself.... apparently sweat pants sheek does nothing to boost my mood. I see you haven't lost your charm... "I stole your blanket so I had something to remember you by"?! I think that's bull....you're just greedy and wanted to see what you could get away with when taking things of mine...You've already taken my self esteem, my heart, and my complete sense of self worth...isn't that enough? I can't believe what a better mood I got in today after talking to you..I can't believe I let YOU determine how I'm feeling.... I hate you so much and I can't stop loving you at the same time. You are a selfish, greedy child. I want to forget you ever existed....unfortunately your hold on me is too strong.