Awaken the Diet Within: From Overweight to Looking Great

By Julia Griggs Havey

Are you fat? Answer the question for yourself, and keep the answer in the back of your mind. We will return to your answer in a minute. Now, think back for a moment and imagine how I must have felt when the homeless man was shouting out his observation about my body. How would you feel if that happened to you? Or how have you felt when something similar happened to you? What Would you do? Have there been times in your life when someone made a cruel remark or a cutting observation? How did you react?

Now, without emotion, look at your body. Take a long look. Do you see that it has "too much food" in it? Grab a pencil.

Awareness is essential to your success because it makes rationalization impossible. Rationalization is a tool we have all used from time to time to make ourselves feel better about situations. We can rationalize our weight by telling ourselves that we really have tried to diet and it just didn't work, therefore enabling ourselves to eat half the cheesecake without feeling guilty. You are not alone. We have all been there. We also rationalize the appearance of our body, telling ourselves that we aren't that fat. We have all looked in the minor, strategically moving around until we get just the right angle so we can strike the perfect pose and tell ourselves, "Not bad." But now it's time to put the rationalization aside. It's time for you to cancel your membership in the society for fat acceptance. This is not to say that you shouldn't like yourself regardless of your weight; to the contrary, that is exactly what you should do. The difference is that you must accept you, but reject your fat.

I got a very nasty E-mail one day from a woman who was upset with my message. She thought it was terrible that I was telling people to diet and that I should tell them to like themselves despite their weight. I tried to explain that I agree wholeheartedly with her. Yes, we should like ourselves and be happy with the person we are. But our body is not who we are, but what we have. We need our bodies in order to continue living.

Therefore, it is our responsibility to take action to live a healthy life. Think of this analogy: You are given an automobile when you're born to gel you around, to go everywhere you want to go. When this auto breaks down, your only focus becomes fixing it, otherwise you won't be able to go anywhere anymore. One breakdown after another finally results in a vehicle that is no longer drivable. That's it. You don't get another one. You're done running errands, visiting relatives, taking kids to the park, traveling the country, going on vacation. Eventually some kind of a breakdown is bound to happen, but if you take care of your vehicle, you have the chance to experience all those things that are a joy not only for you, but also for others because of your ability' to express who you are! Don't you want to take care of what you have been given so you can live well and enjoy your life?

Take care of and improve that which is in your ability to control. Getting healthier only enhances your life; it is in no way a bad thing. Accept the best that life has to offer you and you will have more to offer.

On my Web site there is a survey where people are asked to list ten adjectives they would use to describe themselves. Please take a moment to do this exercise.

When I first read the answers on my Web site, I was very surprised by the words people used. It became evident to me that, regardless of our weight, much of our self-worth and personal esteem is based on the appearance of our bodies. (And I thought I was the only one!) It may or may not surprise you to know that very often when reading the ten adjectives sent in by women wanting to lose anywhere from ten pounds to one hundred or more, I see words like fat, ugly, gross, obese, or chunky These are negative, self-deprecating words. While these words may describe what women see in their physical beings, what we are looking for here are words that describe who you are, and what traits make you unique, special, and wonderful.

A woman once sent me the following answers: "fat, ugly, obese, globby, chunky, talented, and sad." She mentioned in her letter that she was a young actress in New York City and that it was becoming unbearable for her to appear in the play in which she was currently cast. Her role was that of a fat woman, and her lines called for her co-star to proclaim that "her heart was as big as Texas" as she was bending over with her rear end facing the audience. I could envision the scene, the entire audience breaking into laughter and her heart sinking a bit deeper with each laugh. My heart went out to her. I responded and told her that I could not accept most of her adjectives, that they were too negative and dwelled on her physical being.