Dear eNotAlone: I can't seem to get this girl to listen to me no matter what I do! We used to be great friends in high school and I was hoping that we could be good friends again, but she doesn't seem to be interested. We've been talking and hanging out every now and then, but I'm starting to feel like she's just not that into me, or that she's leading me on. I don't want to lose her as a friend, but I also don't want to waste my time either. What should I do?
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It can be frustrating when someone you care about isn't listening to you, especially when they used to be your best friend. It's important to remember that everyone is different and the lines of communication are always changing. Sometimes it can take a long time for someone to open up, so try to be patient.
One thing you can do is check in with them regularly. Ask how they're doing, see if there's anything you can do to help or just see what's new in their life. It's possible that they're just going through something big in their lives and may not have the capacity to be there for you right now. Be mindful of that and make sure you're not assuming the worst.
Next, you can invite them to hang out in a casual setting. If it was fun when you were best friends then find an activity or event that you both enjoy and suggest it. They may just need some time away from the stress of everyday life and this could be the perfect opportunity. It might take some time for both of you to adjust to being around each other in a different way, so don't pressure them.
Be honest with yourself. It's ok to want to stay connected with your friend but it might be better for both of you if you move on for now. If things start to get too complicated, let them know how you feel and that you're taking some space. Don't be afraid to set boundaries, as this will help ensure that you won't be taken advantage of. No matter what though, try to remain positive. With enough effort and understanding you may be able to get your friendship back to where it was before, it just might take some time.