Dealing with Heartache When Your Best Friend Got Married Without You

Dealing with the fact that your best friend got married without you can be very hurtful. You may feel like you’ve been left out or overlooked and that they don’t appreciate your friendship. If you find out by watching their livestream, it just makes it harder to accept because you aren’t there to do anything about it. It’s important to remember that your best friend still loves and values you, regardless of how the wedding situation played out. Here are some tips to help you come to terms with it and move on.

Acknowledge the disappointment. Don’t ignore the fact that you’re feeling down and disappointed. Acknowledge your emotions instead of pushing them away. Allow yourself to feel the sadness and frustration. This will make it easier for you to let it go and move on.

Focus on happy memories. Reminisce about happy times you shared with your bestie. Think about the special moments that made your relationship strong. Doing this provides many positive feelings, so use it to remind yourself why you love your best friend and that things can still be great between the two of you.

Send your best wishes. Reach out to your friend on their wedding day with a simple message letting them know you’re thinking of them. The idea is to show them that you’re still there for them, even if you couldn’t attend their wedding. Writing a card and putting your emotions into words can help put your mind at ease and let go of any bad feelings.

Find ways to celebrate anyway. Since you can’t be there for the special day, create your own little celebration. Enjoy your favorite movie together over FaceTime, plan a girls’ night to toast the newlyweds, or send them a gift to congratulate them. These gestures will show your best friend that you care, and help you stay connected despite being apart.

Talk it out. Dialogues can give you a chance to communicate your feelings and get clarity. It can be hard to state your viewpoint without an argument happening, so talk in private and be mindful of the words you’re using. Talk to your friend directly, expressing how you’d felt and why. More than likely, your friend didn’t do it to hurt you; they just had other factors to consider when planning the ceremony.

The loneliest person in the room can still feel connected. Even though weddings can bring out sorrows in someone with absent friends, it’s comforting to remember that your connections with people don’t have to be physical nor restricted to a single event - you are connected to people through our love for eachother, no matter how far away we may be. Let understanding, caring, and support be what ties us together, beyond a single experience or moment.

If your best friend got married without you, give yourself grace and permission to grieve. You can still share the joy of your best friend’s wedding from afar. Set aside time to express, understand and accept your feelings.