When To Tell Your Date About Online Harassment

Online harassment affects millions of people all over the world. It can come in many forms, and it often targets vulnerable populations such as those in the LGBTQ community or people of color. While the consequences of online harassment can be severe, the victims of this type of abuse often feel powerless and alone. This is especially true when it comes to relationships and dating. So, when it comes to telling a date about online harassment targeting you, what should you do?

First of all, it’s important to take inventory of your feelings. Are you feeling scared, overwhelmed, or triggered by the thought of speaking about it? If so, that’s perfectly understandable. It takes courage to open up about something like this, and it's important to assess your comfort level before having this conversation. Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you’re feeling sad or anxious.

If you do decide to tell your date about the abuse you’ve experienced, it’s best to keep it honest and simple. Try to stick to the facts, and focus on how it made you feel. If it helps, write down some key points to refer back to during the conversation. This will help if you find yourself feeling too emotional to talk.

It’s also important to remember that the goal of having this conversation isn’t necessarily to encourage a solution. You don’t have to have all the answers, or even a clear plan of what you want your date to do if you do choose to tell them. The most important thing is that you feel heard, validated, and supported. If your partner responds with compassion and offers comfort, then that’s a good sign that the relationship could be a safe space for you.

On the other hand, if your partner responds in an unsupportive way—telling you to “move on,” or invalidating your feelings—it’s a sign that this relationship may not be healthy. In this case, it might be best to take a step back and assess whether it’s truly a healthy choice for you to pursue this relationship further.

It’s also worth noting that you’re not obligated to tell your date about the online harassment targeting you. Ultimately, this is up to you, and no one should ever pressure you into sharing something you’re not ready or willing to share. You have the right to keep this information private, and it’s important to trust your judgment and respect your own boundaries.

No matter what your decision is, it’s important to remember that you are not alone. There are numerous resources available if you need help or are looking for a safe space to talk about your experiences. You can reach out to friends, talk to a therapist or counselor, or even join an online or offline support group. It’s not always easy to talk about sensitive topics like this, but it can be incredibly helpful and empowering to know you’re not alone.

At the end of the day, it’s important to put your safety and well-being first. Even if you decide not to tell your date about the online harassment, understanding your experience and making sure you have the proper support is paramount. Know that you have the strength and power to speak up and access information and support when needed.