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  • Olivia Sanders
    Olivia Sanders

    The Subtle Nuances of Situationships: Understanding Dismissive Avoidants Aspects of Love

    Deciding to take the plunge into commitment or maintain the distance of a situationship is an important decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Whether it’s the feeling of safety found in familiarity or the desire to feel desired, individuals must have a keen understanding of the complexities of love and relationship dynamics to decide which situation fits them best.

    When it comes to individuals that actively engage in situationships instead of long-term committed relationships, it should come as no surprise to recognize there are usually underlying reasons. Dismissive-avoidants are particularly notorious when it comes to this unhealthy pattern of avoiding a fully committed relationship in favor of a shallow, undefined one.

    Dismissive avoidants are those who welcome relationships (casual or otherwise), despite their underlying core belief that love and relationships are inherently futile and disappointing. Unconsciously, they expect relationships to end poorly and thus- project this idea outwardly. When dismissive-avoidants come across a potential romantic partner that does not “give away too much”, instead of risking potential disappointment, they settle for maintaining distance and “hoping for the best.”

    On a more subconscious level, there may be an innate fear of trusting and wanting others. After all, dismissing someone proves easier than genuinely embracing their presence. Similarly, deep down they may dread being forgotten, so eliminating the chance of someone leaving or getting close enough to hurt them, makes situationships a sounder choice.

    Of course, those who find themselves in such a relationship may have difficulty grasping why they experience difficulty connecting with someone they care about, while enjoying similar shallow connections with relative ease. It sometimes takes a few moments of self-reflection to ask basic questions such as “Why am I so comfortable in these types of relationships?” and “What could possibly prevent me from wanting something more meaningful?”

    These situations shouldn’t be left unrecognized and unaddressed. Obviously, there are healthy reasons why people consciously choose situationships, but if it is a recurring lifestyle choice, more investigation should be done. Otherwise, their relationship anxiety will continue to render them helpless against fully committing; swayed by their fear as soon as a more intimate connection appears.

    That said, it is important for them to remember that doubt exists for a reason but that in order for something to become worthwhile and deeply rewarding, one must take the risk and be vulnerable enough to learn and accept that real, lasting love can be found.

    Individuals who lean towards situationships instead of committed relationships need to do some self-discovery and determine why this safety tends to prevail over long term companionship. many of these individuals have the ability to form loving, meaningful connections. If they let go of fear and learn to let in those deserving, a flood of potential connections awaits them on the other side.

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