How Can I Overcome Shyness Around Women?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm a shy guy who has a major problem with women. It seems like no matter what I do I can't seem to make any headway in the world of romance. I'm not sure if it's because I tend to be a bit awkward or if I'm just really scared of getting rejected. I want desperately to find someone special and to settle down with them, but I'm at a total loss for how to make it happen for me. I feel like even if I manage to get the attention of a girl I won't know what to say or do next, like my social skills are completely lacking when it comes to relationships. What can I do to become better at talking to women and ultimately finding true love?

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The first thing you need to understand is that it's perfectly normal to feel shy and unsure of yourself in the dating world. It can be an extremely nerve-wracking experience to put yourself out there and involve yourself in casual conversation with someone you're attracted to. However, this doesn't mean you should give up on pursuing your romantic desires. It just means you'll need to take a few extra steps to get yourself there.

One of the best ways to build confidence when it comes to talking to women is to practice. Put yourself in as many social situations as possible where you will have opportunities to interact with others, such as bars, parties, and events. Feel free to strike up a conversation with anyone willing to talk, whether they are single or not. Once you get the hang of small talk and building up your self-esteem, you'll find that approaching someone you're attracted to becomes much easier.

Another great tool you can use to help quell your shyness around women is to make sure you always have topics to talk about on hand. Doing some research prior to engaging in conversation can help you feel prepared, which may give you the boost of confidence necessary to start up a conversation. Having a few interesting facts or stories to share is also a great way to set yourself apart from the other potential suitors.

Don't forget that it's okay to screw up occasionally. Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes conversations don't turn out the way we had planned. The important thing is that you don't let your worries and doubts limit you from putting yourself out there and getting the chance to connect with others. Understanding your strengths and weaknesses may actually be one of the most effective tools for flirting and finding true love.