I give up

[darkpumpkin]

This guy broke up with me almost a year ago and basically we have stayed in touch and fooled around for the year. I know what I have to do to completely move on but I just don't seem to do it. One day I say enough I'm done and then the next I'm texting him. It's like a seriouse addiction and it's sick. My friends are tired of this, my family is tired of this. Hell I'm tired of this. I don't want him back!!! He is not or has never been the greatest person to me, never treated me with any respect. I've fallen over backwards for him and just realized that he will never pay that back or realize what I've done for him.

 

He's literelly keeping me around until he finds someone he wants to be with and I am to but by doing this we are preventing either one of us to move on.](*,)

 

So here's the problem I know all this and yet neither one of us can stop. At this point the worst thing we could have ever done to each other was go out in the first place. Please if you know how to stop (please don't say just stop cause it's not that easy) let me know. If you want to tell me I'm a psycho like everyone else has do that as well. I have never felt so ashamed in my whole life for continuing to do something I know I shouldn't.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Pumpkin, I'm not sure what you need to hear right now because you already know what to do, the HOW has to come from you.

 

I just wanted to tell you that I can I SUPER relate to this.

 

I had a bf (a loooong time ago). We dated in a committed relationship for a very short time, the rest of the FIVE (5) YEARS we were only seeing each other, messing around, waiting until something better came along.

 

It was totally addicting. We always saw other people and even got into relationships but always ended up back with each other some how. UNTIL something better and more permanent DID come along.

 

I don't mean to be so not-helpful, I really don't know how you can break the cycle other than to just stop like you said, which, like you said, is easier said than done. But that IS one way.

 

Most likely it will eventually stop when he or you get into a serious relationship unless you just decide to move on. It will just have to be a decision you make.

 

I don't think you'll spend your whole life doing this. It will end. It just needs the decision to be made by one of you and the passage of time.

[stolenshadow]

Hello, as you know what you have is an addiction to whatever this guy gives you, all of those come from voids we haven't dealt with in ourselves, but you don't want to live this way anymore and that's exactly what you need to move on.

 

I suggest you to prepare yourself for the break up as much as possible, plan ahead, inform your friends and family you will need them, get involved in lots of activities to get distracted and always tell yourself you will feel better.

 

Like most addictions (or when having a dependency) you must live one day at a time.

 

I'm trying to leave in the past an 8 year on and off relationship, the first weeks I was back and forth pretty much each hour, but I kept saying "I'll contact him next week", that helped me feel a bit better, same as keeping my mind busy.

 

Make a backup plan for whenever you feel like giving in, you can go somewhere, watch something, read, or even just repeating yourself why this guy is no good for you.

 

It isn't easy, but it's all worth it once you can take a deep breath and say it's finally over.