I feel like crap....I don't know what to do.

[Ineedtotalk]

Well my story is that my girlfriend of 1 year broke up with me 6wks ago . I feel that it was my fault that she broke up with me. I think I just took her for granted so she broke up with me. The first couple of weeks after the break up was horroble and I cryed a lot. But now I feel better but still I miss her. I tried to go on dates to take her of my mind. And I met this girl about two weeks ago we went out twice an it seemed that it was going to work, but yesterday on our second date she said that she is does not want a relationship because she is too busy with school and when she is done with school this semester she is not sure where she is going to end up. Plus we live to 2hr away from each other. I had my hopes up because I thought she really wanted to make it work b/c she kissed me on the first date.

 

I just feel like I been dumped again and I cried a little yesterday night. This feeling of being dumped makes me thing about my ex again. I want brake NC with my ex. B/c I feel this guilt that I should try again to get back together (it was my fault why we broke up). What should I do? ](*,)

[eddie500]

First, don´t expect relationships to really work out so soon after a major break-up, consciously or sub-consciously you will probably push the girls away, and 2 weeks is so fast! Give it at least a couple months before jumping into another relationship.

 

I´d say that its obvious you still love your ex, so if you still think you have a chance then go for it... I don´t think you can really move on until you know for sure there is no way your getting back together. But if you go for it and she says "NO", then go into strict NC, and stick with it.

 

And read the following, will help you realize why you are feeling so low.

 

 

[Pikey1972]

Ineedtotalk, I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this, I can assure you that everyone on this forum knows exactly how you feel and can sympathise (sending you an e-hug).

 

It's perfectly natural to feel sad, guilty, depressed, angry etc after a break-up. Allow yourself to feel sad, allow yourself to feel the pain, as this is part of the healing process. (Unfortunately, there is no quick fix to feeling bad )

 

I hope you don't mind me asking, but how "amicable" was the break-up? Do you think your ex would be receptive to you contacting her? The reason I'm asking is because of my own situation: my ex and I parted on reasonably amicable terms (although I was still angry and confused), and I contacted him a few weeks later to get everything out in the open, apologise for some of my behaviour, and clear the air between us.

 

So maybe the first question to ask yourself is: why do you want to contact your ex? Is it to clear the air, or is it to ask her to come back to you?

 

If it's the latter, then my advice would be not to, as it's impossible to force or beg someone to come back to you.

 

If it's the former, and you split on friendly terms, then I see no harm in contacting her to clear the air and apologise if you feel you need to. Remember however: it takes two to tango, so don't blame yourself solely for the break-up. (After I apologised to my ex, he also apologised for some of his behaviour - we acknowledged we both had a part in the lead-up to the break).

 

Also, I would not date anyone else for the time being if I were you - again, allow yourself time to grieve and to heal. Go out with friends, take up a new hobby, and above all be kind to and forgiving of yourself.

 

Take care,

 

Pikey

[Ineedtotalk]

Thank you the kind replies. We ended in good terms. She said that she still wanted to be friends. I told her that I needed time to heal before we became friends. I after a day from the break up I begged her not to leave me. But she said "no its over". So one of the reasons I want to call her is because I still have hope and before I lose this hope that we can still be together I want to try one last time. I want to lay my heart on the table. And if does not take it. I will not try again. I can't get over her because I still have hope. I can't seem to lose it. I also feel that I should call because I feel I made the mistakes that led to our break up. So that is why I should try to one last time. Thanks again to everybodies support....

[luvagain]

I'm sorry about your situation, Ineedtotalk.

 

Listen, keeping your hopes up will eventually be torture. If she has flat out said it's over then you must let go and start the healing process. My ex gave me false hopes an kept my hopes up. I believed her and I too kept my hopes up only to find out she was BS-ing me and that hurt.

 

Try again but if she lets you know that it's over then you must let go and move on. It will hurt but it's better that you start now just in case you guys don't get back together.

 

Best of good luck to you. Please be careful not to keep getting hurt. Like eddie500 said, "2 weeks is so fast! Give it at least a couple months before jumping into another relationship."

[eddie500]

I still have hope and before I lose this hope that we can still be together I want to try one last time

 

Yeah I kind of did that with my ex, tried one last time.. just to make sure to myself that it was OVer, and it was. IT was a lot easier to go into no-contact and forget about her. So yeah go for it, but make sure that after this last try you move on.