Don't know what's going on

[Cooperstown]

Last night my ex of 2 years that I broke up with in December IM'ed me at like 2:30am which although the hour is odd, we have been talking a little bit lately. Well it turns out she was drunk and ended up driving home drunk for the first time in her life. Apparently he also climbed up on the bar and poured shots and what not as well. This is completely out of character for her, she's the shy girl that just did her thing. Didn't really drink much when she went out, never he considered driving drunk prior. When I asked her what was going on and explained that I thought this was out of character for her she agreed but responded saying well, this is the new me. Now I've been there before, I had an ex that I dated for 4 years who did some pretty mean stuff after breaking it off with me which in turn put me on a 6 month bender so I have an idea of what she's going through. I really am concerned about her, I didn't not break it off because I didn't think she was a great person. I still think she is wonderful, I broke it off because while I think she's great, she doesn't have all the qualities I'm looking for in someone I wanna be with the rest of my life. She doesn't really have any career aspirations, not going to school stuck in a dead end job etc. When I brought this up during the break up she says oh I can change, I wanna change etc. Well I'm leaving soon for 8-9 months and basically I said we'll see where were at when I get back. If you wanna make those changes make them for yourself not me. I'm just really worried about her and what she is doing to herself, is it normal to still care this much. I mean the idea of her having a one night stand drives me insane because I realize I'm the one that broke it off, but I still care for her deeply.](*,)

[SLMitchell918]

I imagine that its very hard for her also. She could be doing these things because she is trying to heal in all the wrong ways or because she is looking for attention from you. Its hard to tell.

 

It is very natural to care for someone still after ending it. They say it takes half the time that you were actually together to get over someone. Give it some time and see how things go. It sounds like this separation was truly what you wanted.

[Mavh25]

it isnt wrong of you to care about someone you had an intimate relationship with. It is totally normal if there was no connection there would of been no YOU/US, dead end job or not. It makes you a good person, but dont get back with her just because you are worried, you can just be her friend, but then again you (dont mean to sound bad) could be her problem, and cutting it off may be best because shes probly doing this to make you acknowledge her a little.

[Cooperstown]

I let her initiate all the contact with me, I'm not going to be the guy that refuses to talk to her. I'll be her friend until she decides that she doesn't want to be mine. Just really hit hard the things she's doing because I wasted 6 months of my life doing it. The really hard thing about this is the fact that I got together with her after my ex of 4 hours about 8 months after that ended. So a part of has thought for along time that this was a rebound I never ended. What makes it so hard is how wonderful of a person she is, but yeah I know, I have no intention of going back anytime soon. I leave for 8-9 months within 2 weeks so I think that will give us both the time and space we need to figure out what we want in this life for ourselves and determine at that time if we want to do those things together. At this time we just have completely different things we want out of this life.