hurleydude Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 Hi my name is Ian and i have always had this problem with my girls frined, and that is that i am very shy and quiet. MY mine goes blank and i dont know what to say, i cant keep a conversation going for some reason and thats ruining my relationship now. Please help me i dont want to lose her i care for her a lot. Link to comment
aaron66 Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 the answer is plain and simple. You need to pick up your balls and get over shyness. You have nothing to be shy about unless you are hiding something or are insecure. If she's already your girlfriend, there had to be something you said to her that made her like you in the first place. hope I helped some. Link to comment
daffsters Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 hey buddy, well to ur prob. i have had the same prob. its shyness. the only way out is to face ur fears of rejection and go for it. it will take time so take slow steps. but for the most part u will for better for trying to go out there and make stuff happen btwn the 2 of u. capish Link to comment
sayer7 Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 It may also be nerves and anxiety...maybe you're just nervous and anxious and that's why your mind goes blank and find it hard to keep the conversation going. Maybe some breathing exercises or stress reducing techniques will make you think straighter and clearer on-the-spot when you're with your girl. I say this only because I've found that when I get all nervous and anxious and lose my train of thought and can't keep a conversation going it's because I'm not breathing right... like I'm either holding my breath or breathing too fast. If you're holding your breath, then there's no oxygen going to your brain making it hard to think, no less think straight... and if you're breathing too fast it signals the body that there's some reason to panic, making you anxious and nervous when there's really no reason to be. So if you find you're holding your breath or hyperventilating... focus a moment on taking a few deep, slow, controlled breaths-- get some oxygen moving up in those brains cells so you can think straighter and calm your nerves. Also... remember that when you're with your significant other, you don't need to always talk all the time. Too often, couples are scared of silence and feel uncomfortable when there is a moment of silence. If a silence occurs... instead of getting all panicky and nervous, just sit there and focus on her mere presense-- like, how nice it is to be spending quality time with her, how much you like her and how nice it is that you're sitting/standing next to her. Just take a quiet moment to enjoy her being with you. Learn to feel comfortable in silence and find ways to enjoy silence-- it'll wind up feeling a lot less awkward. Hope this helps! Take care and good luck! Link to comment
cookies Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 well im a social butterflyy, and i just cant imagine running out of things to talk about lol...but,.. if u just relax, and go from one subject to another, with ease...u'll quickly discover that a conversation is much easier than ud think... like talk about hair..then (think to urself ahead of time) hair colour...tlak about it...then ur favourite colours... then maybe ur favourite car in that colour..or where ud like to travel or drive to sumday... then about what ud do if i could travel to certain cities... whats it like living in different cities or countires... how ppl in different countries have different cultures.. ok..this is an example of how my conversation can go lol..i will start talking about one thing..but it will end up like that..from hair to ppl in different countries haha... cookies Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted July 5, 2003 Share Posted July 5, 2003 social phobia comes in many shapes and sizes try to forget how you really feel about her and treat her like a friend. Find things in common that you really like to discuss. It will go away the more you are comfortable with her and the less anxiety you associate with her presense. We all feel this way occasionally. we all get tongue tied when we are nervous. write her letters, tell her how special she is in other ways. go to the movies or take walks -- these activities make it a little easier not to keep up your end of the conversation all the time. Try to work with it, we all have our pluses and minuses. She must be attracted to you for other reasons, keep that in mind. Ask her lots of questions so that she knows you are interested in what she has to say! good luck!! Link to comment
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