earning a position of social respect in the group setting

[sfboi415]

This question is related to Conversational Tips, but it is not a romantic-type question.

 

If you are in an environment where you are literally shut out of the conversation (because they don't like you for whatever reason or they only like to listen to the loud and humorous guy or they don't value what you have to say so then they won't give you an ear), what are the techniques you can do to reassert your position as a key talker in the conversation? Do you have to be well-read? Or knowledgable about common, everyday real issues?

 

My situation: I am a student in a technical training class, and for the third semester, I am the Voice That No One Listens To. Maybe it is my age, but age is nothing! I am trying to see what I can do to become a more active player, because the rest of my classmates have no problem creating conversations that flow. Some people are humorous, others share information about themselves or things that they know. But my mind is blank, and usually I laugh along or mention something to my neighbor, not to the whole class. Still don't know why I do that.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

I think before anyone could listen to you, you have to listen to them first.

 

When you are listening in the conversation, are you interested in the topic conversed? Do you ask further question?

 

Everyone has different personality. Build up your own personality. Some are quiet, while some are loud. Which characteristic are you in?

[johnagent1911]

Just be yourself

[kingakrav]

our challenges hit us all from different directions

always in the most hard way they can

this is the natural state of us beings

as entities who ment to exist for the purpose of growth

 

what you describe is a very natural state of challenge.

 

the challenge for you is built from few important aspect,

you could realise the challenge,

then you could bit it

bitting the challenges of our lives always open up doors...

inner doors for love for occult for truth

 

you are a person of trtuh

and honest beyond words and action

you are very loyal and good friend

 

there is always something which you find "un-beautiful" once you realise the trtuh of it.

thereforeeee i could tell you the first challenge,

the beauty

finding the true beauty in life isnt an easy thing to do

 

you have to know that elegancy and tact are very important things

together with that,

you need to learn to accept the fact,

that some things are not just coming from hard work and investment,

but they come just like this, like a magic, out of the blue.

this is a truth.

let yourself be more playfull and more elegant and fast,

dont be attached to old idead,

dont be attached to old feelings,

dont be attached to old relations,

learn that some things, even invisble for us, keep us from moving up.

the challenge is not to let go of this things,

sometimes we have to smash them!

break them!

destroy and hurt them,

in order to really let go of them

(imagine you have a really good friend for many years, he was always BAD to you, but you never could go away from him, you are faithful and loyal friend...after many years, you cant just let go of this relation if you want, cause it became just something too close and too strong. but in fact, you should leave it. then, what is needed, is to BREAK this relation.

like storm do. break it, smash it, with all your force, that action has a true seed of light and new generation which always lead to self development in most high levels.)

now,

you questiong is how you attune yourself to this enviorment,

or any enviorment,

finding the right tune is an art,

and art is something we need to master

try to be sometimes cold, but not cruel,

cold from afflictive emotions (jelousy, anger and so on)

and be in self control.

hold that control, with your will,

cause you know what you want,

then you would already be in higher position to break through.

be playful in talks,

dont be so serious as you know how to be...

seriousness is too heavy sometimes...

be light and fast and let go of things fast,

your mind will learn to attune to this flow

to this movement of energies,

you would be able to enter into any conversation

any situation

anything...

just like water find their naturel flow,

without trying really...

they just flow into the right places.

 

i think...you might have understood me better than others

if something isnt clear

just ask.

this letter is for you.

[kingakrav]

another thing which always could be an obstacle in such situation,

is our fears of how we would be seem to others...

i myself sometimes just become so afraid...

i act only from my fears and suffer

but i do it to be accepted by siceity

not to be rejected

but in fact,

giving up myself rather then letting myself go

is WRONG

i know for myself that i always regret

 

so like one topic said simply,

be yourself,

dont be afraid,

but dont be also pride

dont just want to loud your voice up to be in the center of events

and to make them all hear ya

for the sake of feeling important

that is wrong

its leads to more problem than being afraid from what people would think of you...

just be real, you are a real person,

you are always speaking truth

and you are honest

but modesty is something pure

fight for keeping it pure.