NC question

[Echo]

Just wanna know if there is anyone who has told someone you never wanna talk to, hear from or see someone again...only to change your mind after a period of time? Did NC change your mind? How long before you changed? Was the NC initated by you or the other person?

[jna35]

I haven't ever said that to anyone, but have had it said to me once. It didn't last long because we were able to work out the misunderstanding and it would have been silly to throw away our friendship.

[Akua]

I've done NC for 2 months now. see posting link removed

He broke it off. He keeps trying to contact me. I am not going to talk with him unless he specifically tells me he wants to get back together and perhaps why he broke it off. Otherwise there is no reason in talking. And on that note, I don't htink I would get back with him even then bc in my situation the break up showed me a lot about who he is. But 3 weeks of NCing, he sent a letter saying that if I don't want to talk with him he isn't going to try anymore, and if that is the case any chance for a future relationship won't happened. Well, I didn't respond and 1 month later, he called and emailed me. See post to see where I am now. Does that help?

[Echo]

Wow ...he sounds confused...big time. I am glad you're strong enough to do NC after his attempts to talk to you..many would have given in at this point. Look at all the posts about how it kills just to do NC for ONE or two weeks. LOL...Good for you!!!! I gues doingNC strictly and dilligently DOES work in the long run!

[Akua]

Echo, so I don't mean to take over your post, but what do i do? Talk with him? Wait for him to figure it out and say up front what he is thinking? NOt do anything? I feel like that is just opening the whole can of worms of getting into a fight or something.

[Echo]

Well...he is making an effort to contact you...

If you just want to know what he wants, you can reply

with short answers....like "What is it you want"? Don't ask open ended questions.....ask him specific questions that require a yes or no answer.

Such as.." Is your purpose for contacting me to get back together"?

You can talk to him without opening yourself up....if it's merely closure you are seeking, then ask him specifically WHY he did what he did, then thank him for his honesty and wish him well.

I would proceed with caution....if you DO decide to reply to him...I would start by email only...and only give him limited replies..like one to his every 3 or 4 emails. Keep it short and sweet. He has to earn your trust again.

Hope that helps some

[Cadence308]

Well, I'm a woman and made the decision to do no contact with another woman. I had feelings for her and I felt they weren't being reciprocated in the same way. We had a personal relationship, hadn't ever worked together or anything, but she was older than me and started acting like we were having a professional relationship. This all happened long distance.

 

It's now been almost 5 months since we had any contact. I sent her a letter and detailed my feelings for her in the letter because I thought that would help me get closure on the situation and I also felt like there were many misunderstandings between us. She told me that she would email me about graduate school if I needed help with that, but she refused to see me and that's when I decided to send the letter. But, it wasn't like she came out and told me that she never wanted to talk to me or see me again. I just felt that she felt that way. So, in that regard I'm not sure who initiated the no contact.

 

I have always wanted to see her and spend time with her. No, my feelings haven't changed that much in 5 months. There's no one special in my life that has taken her place. I guess that's why my feelings haven't changed.

[Cadence308]

I have a question that goes along with the one posted.

 

Has anyone ever wanted to see or be with someone and felt it wasn't being reciprocated and then did no contact, even though that person that you had feelings for never told you that they didn't want to see you or talk to you again?

[Echo]

Well...I decided I am going to go computer free for the next week...which will jump start my 2nd week of NC. I would like to go cell phone free too but I use it for work purposes. Next weekend I am planning a trip out of town, so I hope time and distance is good therapy for me.

So my next post will be next week...in which I hope to be in much better spirits and have much fun stuff to talk about

I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL week. Talk to you all soon

[Echo]

OOps just caught your post Ballys.......

 

My answer is YES. I had this major crush on this guy a couple of years ago...(during my "off " period with my ex) I still have a crush on him .

I would email him...you know little flirtatious but harmless emails. He KNEW I liked him...but he would never come out and say he was NOT interested..because thats not his style. He also didn;t lead me on either...it was this ODD situation, where it was this little "thing" between us. I tend to be drawn to "bad boys" though...so he was one of those guys that don't like to be tied down. I think he DOES like me on some level. We have NEVER been intimate, but I do feel attracted to him. I have a feeling ..one of these days...we might end up "hooking up"..but in the meantime I enjoy our flirting.

[Akua]

Good for you Echo. Stay busy. If you get through the first two weeks, you'll make it. And think of NC as a form of dignity you are giving yourself. You are too good to wait around for him. Do what makes you happy and when the urge comes to talk to him, call someone else close to you or go for a walk or clean up or write in a journal. You can't trust him to be responsible for your feelings, but you can trust yourself that you will be ok.