Can relationship return after serious depression

[Manillar]

1 minute ago, catfeeder said:

Not very likely without treatment and the effort to work it.

Depressed people are typically (and often admittedly) not relationship material. Your partner has not pursued diagnosis and treatment, and to be frank, you're seeking hope for a dice roll. Your partner would need to willingly act on his own behalf to pursue treatment and work it, and nobody here can predict whether he'll ever do that, or the outcome if he did. But his belief that this condition will lift once he receives the right income isn't realistic. He could have taken on a second job within this year if dollars were the real thing, but frankly, depressed people rarely have the energy to work beyond survival. So he's promising a fantasy, even while he's missing every appointment he's scheduled to seek help.

Your key phrase above is "so long". People can experience a situational (or temporary) depression, such as grief over a death or a job or a pet--whatever the cause. That emotional grief can be severe and debilitating, and this can alter a person's brain and hormonal chemistry during this time. Some people seek treatment to rebalance their chemistry as they heal emotionally, some others are able to self-treat through exercise, diet, social support or other tools. Yet there are those who don't seek treatment, or who are chemically resistant to treatment, or who may have already had a predisposition to chronic depression that was not known prior to it being enlivened by a situation, or even by a spontaneous onset of depressive symptoms without a known cause.

A real problem comes with the length of time one's chemistry is imbalanced. Chronic depression can be a condition that is genetic, but it can also come from a situational depression that does not lift and remains untreated.

In other words, depression isn't all about emotions. Yes, emotions can impact depression or they can be caused by depression, but emotions are only one facet of a much larger dis-ease.

My heart goes out to you.

He is in counseling. It's been 2 months I feel worse yet he says he feels better, and I don't see it. He bought an excerize machine and has been making an effort to use it. But, there's something missing I'm sure, or much more time.

The length does concern me. You get used to what you do, and in repetition, it gets pretty engrained, thoughts turn into beliefs.