Interfaith relationships

[Twolitersunkist]

Well hello, I'm Ivan...Not that, that matters but... well anyway to my point... I've been with a woman for about 4 months now, but in a sense you could say technically for about a year...I myself am a Christian, and she is a Muslim... Being the hardest thing in our relationship...everytime I ask her about the religion, she takes it as an attack...I just ask, because I don't know. Whatever I don't know much about I ask question after question until I feel as if I know enough about the topic, and her religion is no exception...past this of course, what were to happen if we were to be wed? How would our children be raised? should we let them decide or should I teach them my faith? What should I do, should I leave the topic to die, as I told her. Should I continue to press it to see if our relation is strong enough to last through our differences or what?

[Strandysmommy]

Well, first think of how you phrase your questions. I mean just to get that out of the way...sometimes we innocently ask things and others take it as insult. I am guessing that people of the Muslim faith are going to be a little more sensitive about their faith because they get a fair amount of crap about it from a nation that is so Christian-based. (ESPECAILLY after 9/11). By the bye, I am trying to be real careful myself on how I word things as well, so as not to offend. I believe religons are spokes on a wheel and God/ess is in the center. THAT SAID, just let her know you're asking purely out of curiosity because you care about her (you do, right?). You want to be sure she feels comfortable around you and you want to do right by her in learning about who she is.

 

It goes without saying, don't insult her faith, or brush her beleifs off as illigitamate. Don't try converting her, and above all, just let her know you're not trying to be patronizing. As for the future, handle that as it comes. At this point I would just be trying to gauge how deeply involved in her faith she is, and the expectations of her folks for you and she. How deeply are YOU involved in your own faith? I am totally of the beleif that variety is the spice o' life but sometimes you REALLY have to work, and compromise--especially when it comes to something as volitle and delicate as faith and love. Good luck to you; just get her feelings on it, slowly and carefully.

[Twolitersunkist]

I have told her on various occasions that it is simply wanting to know more about her...and that I couldn't truly say that I knew her if I didn't know about her faith...as far as how strong her faith is...only God knows at times it seems like something she could care less about(the majority of the time) and at times it seems like everything to her... me I happen to be very grounded in my faith... I don't try to convert anyone let alone her... I believe everyone should find their own way...and that my intervention may even deter them from the right way...stating right way in no bias whatsoever (also her father has no idea about me, she doesn't live with him anymore due to DHS long story)

[Abacab]

I don't get it Dude...

 

Do you love this girl irrespective of her faith? If so, why dwell into the religious aspect of her personality? Does she ask you questions about your faith?...

 

There are many good sources of information out there on the internet about the Muslim religion, along with many books. You may with to consult them.....

 

Don't let religion be a source of conflict in your relationship.

 

Cheers