Neck/Spine/Back pain

[sisterlynch]

Are we talking about the ex or the pain in his back or ice stories? Hey, Hockeyboy, have you had any harder than usual knocks -- something that made you tense up a little...while playing hockey?

 

You could do the ice and heat thing...put ice on for 20 minutes or so, then heat it later. Try mixing rubbing alcohol in water and then put that in a freezer lock bag, and it turns into like slush that will mold to the pain better than just hard ice...I hope that helps.

 

Later put on a heating pad.

[hockeyboy]

i tend to jump around and talk about a lot of things at once. haha.

 

but no...no big bumps or anything, just woke up in pain

[Mentor]

whats your take on it?

 

do i..

 

a) do what im doing...play it cool for now

b) give an ultimatum kinda

c) just walk away from the whole mess

 

OK hockeyboy, I have updated myself on your situation. It still makes me dizzy

 

Are you really playing it cool? You mention love and falling for her all over again several times. It is very easy for a person in your (or my) situation to mistake sexual intimacy for emotional intimacy. You are filling a void, but the pieces don't quite fit. I have a hard time believing that you are as happy with this as you make yourself out to be, or you wouldn't be posting here. Maybe you are even afraid to examine how unhappy you really are? I worry that you are setting yourself up for a painful future. I would also listen very carefully to RayKay and Ticklebug. They both give consistently sound advice here. I have disagreed with Ticklebug once or twice, but in thoses cases I am sure that I was wrong It seems to me that you get the best results when you withdraw and don't give her what she needs at this moment.

 

Having said that...

 

I hear you completely about needing to try, regretting not giving it a 100% chance. You will not have another fulfilling relationship as long as you harbour hope that things are going to work out. You have to either:

 

1. See this through to its end, and convince yourself that it is/is not meant to be.

2. Cut your losses now and begin the process of moving on, starting by finding yourself again.

 

You have to be fully behind your choice. If you are not convinced that it is the right one, it will not work out. I can not say that there is no chance that you will reconcile. I am sure that some people have in similar situations. I think that you have an idea what the odds are for this to happen in your case. You need to make this decision on your own, and maybe you aren't quite ready for the consequences of either choice, so you are paralyzed. Rest assured I will understand and support either choice you make, once you feel ready to make it.

 

Well, you asked for it. There is my take. It is worth every cent you paid for it

 

Good luck, and keep me updated.

[ksk0_0]

Sorry to interrupt but..

 

 

are you a penguins fan?

 

No, Leafs. I was born/raised in Toronto.

 

 

w00t Leafs!

[Mentor]

Sorry to interrupt but..

 

 

are you a penguins fan?

 

No, Leafs. I was born/raised in Toronto.

 

 

w00t Leafs!

 

8)

[hockeyboy]

i will

 

1. See this through to its end, and convince yourself that it is/is not meant to be.

 

im going to compromise. i will try to take it slow and "go with the flow." i will try not to bring "us" up to much or anything like that. but i do love her...and i wont last to to long and eventually i'll do what i have to do.

 

 

my neck/back seemed to feel better after hockey. but this morning it hurts worse. perhaps i should see a doctor? it almost feels like my spine is bruised. i know its not...but thats kinda what it feels like

[Mentor]

i will

 

1. See this through to its end, and convince yourself that it is/is not meant to be.

 

im going to compromise. i will try to take it slow and "go with the flow." i will try not to bring "us" up to much or anything like that. but i do love her...and i wont last to to long and eventually i'll do what i have to do.

 

 

my neck/back seemed to feel better after hockey. but this morning it hurts worse. perhaps i should see a doctor? it almost feels like my spine is bruised. i know its not...but thats kinda what it feels like

 

It sounds like you have a clear path in your mind. That is good, and I wish you all the best. I think that you really have to believe in what you are doing, and it sounds like you do. We are all here for you!

 

You mentioned that it feels like your spine is bruised twice now. That is not really how I would describe the condition that I get sometimes. In me, it feels more like one of the muscles running right along the spine in my upper back/neck has siezed up and is really tight and sore. Maybe give it another couple of days and if it isn't better see a doctor?

 

Good luck!

[hockeyboy]

i made an appointment for friday. it doesnt feel tight, but rather bruised. rather be safe then sorry. i have friday off from work anyways so its a good time to go.

 

i was talking to the ex last night and then she said she would call me back (this is at about 11) she ended up calling back at 2am. (normal for her kinda). she asked me to call her this morning to give her a wakeup call (shes in texas for the week) so i did. when i talked to her she was still mostly asleep. so i texted her 15 minutes later just making sure she got up. she didnt respond so i called again..thinking she was sleeping. she wasnt..was getting ready or something. so i told her..next time i ask her a question as im trying to do her a favor..just answer..not to hard. i said "just call me whenever" and she said "nick...i was busy!" I said "fine, just call me whenever" but not in a mean voice at all. I don't see this as a bad thing but rather just standing my ground. I wasn't angry or anything, just a little annoyed. I don't think she did anything terrible either..just a small pet peeve. But do you think this is the kinda stuff I shouldn't be reacting to or stuff that I should be standing my ground on so I don't become a "doormat" as people are calling me.

[Mentor]

But do you think this is the kinda stuff I shouldn't be reacting to or stuff that I should be standing my ground on so I don't become a "doormat" as people are calling me.

 

There could have been a lot of reasons that she didn't text you back. Maybe she was in the shower?

 

For what it is worth, I don't see you as a "doormat" right now at all. Honestly though, it doesn't sound like you are very happy in this relationship. There are lots of people out there who are looking for someone to love and get love returned 100%. As long as you continue on this path you are shutting the door on a happier, healthier relationship with someone new

 

Take care of youself, and do what is best for YOU right now (LOL, if you know anything about my current situation, you would know that I am not one for listening to my own advice!)

[hockeyboy]

Im happy when im with her. When im not with her I wouldn't say im not happy..but rather that I feel I have a small void. Right now shes half way accross the country which does make me miss her. If things continue to be the same way they are now…then I will have to get out cause that's not what I want. However, I realize I cant expect everything to happen overnite and I must have some patients. She says things will "obviously change" so ill give it that chance to see which way it goes.

[-Hollywood-]

try yoga too. and it's not a "chick exercise" as so many people like to believe. but the deep breathing and deep stretches really help with stress and sore areas. if it's your upper back that's bothering you try this stretch:

reach both your arms forward with one on top of the other.

then make an L-angle at your elbows with your hands interlaced with each other (make sure your elbows are on top of one another)

imagine pushing your shoulders down and reaching your elbows up. this should make for a really deep stretch into your shoulder blades.

breathe.

hold for a few seconds then roll down the spine, as if you were going to touch your toes. make sure to hang your head, you don't want any extra tension.

then come back up and repeat with the other arm on top.

hope this makes sense.

-H-