going in circles

[spaggle]

hi i still can't come out of the closet about me being bi-curious, i like girls im pretty sure i do, i have done for around 4 years, since i was around twelve ive been getting the feelings. But because i cant bring myself to tell people, i am constantly just dating guys and find myself dumping them after a really short time, because i feel that there is something missing at i know tht one day i will hurt there feelings. has anybody else been in the same situation? a couple of people know about me being bi curious, i havent done anything with a female because i dont want to tell many people i am bicurious in case they are prejudice, so that means that i cannot get a girlfriend, so i constantly think hey i like tht guy, ill date him, then once the dating starts i feel like ive achieved what i wanted. so what shud i do?

spaggle

[ComputerGuy]

Well doing the math I'd say you are 16 now, and at your age, you're friends SHOULD be mature enough to cope with it. The biggest issue will be your parents, as a lot of parents have very strong views on this. Now I'm not saying dont tell them, but what I am saying is try and find out their views on it first, like just say "We are doing a thing at school about gay marriage and I need to get some peoples opinions for a survey"...and then get their opinions.

 

Once you know where they stand on the subject, you should be in a position to find the best way to tell them......good luck and keep us posted

[Cadence308]

Spaggle, I'm in a similar situation to you, myself. I am still trying to sort out my feelings for boys and girls. I've just decided not to focus so much on what I am and just try to focus on the person and "go for" who I find attractive, versus their gender, if that makes sense.

 

I haven't really came out and told anyone that I have same-sex attractions, yet. I did tell one female friend over email that I thought that I could be bi or a lesbian. I just wanted to see her reaction. She made it sound like it was okay and she wondered why I wasn't more experimental with sex. I thought she was thinking that I was suggesting being more sexually prominscuous, which I wasn't. So I just decided not to tell anyone until I was ready or until I had a girlfriend because even that situation made me frustrated. Now it feels a little awkward emailing with her.

 

I used to date tons of guys, sometimes like 3 dates a week, all with different guys. None of them ever ended up in a relationship. I would usually only go out with them 1-2 times and then not call them back or dog them. I just wasn't interested and told people it was because I was focusing on school and I was. I recently finished graduate school and I'm not a student any more so I have more time to focus on relationships and now I'm coming to terms with my same-sex attractions. I've never had sex with a man or a woman before.

 

The point of my story is that I understand what you are saying and if you want to PM me and chat some more about this, feel free. I think that until you feel ready to come out or have a girlfriend then I wouldn't worry too much about telling people. I have no idea how to meet girls. I have a crush on a woman right now and that's why I was starting to question my sexuality. I'm hoping that something will happen with her.

 

I think that if you are into the club scene then you can go to a gay night club. If that's not your thing, then if you are a student at a university, they usually have gay and lesbian clubs or organizations, you could join one of those and meet many more people who are gay. If you are in a city and not at a university, there's gay and lesbian rights organizations that you could join. Just be friends with people and see what happens!