How do I cater to woman's emitonally needs?

[deesea5]

The girl I fell for broke things off with me 2 day ago. She told me that we never really have worthy conversation. She says its always her doing the talking & I would only ask a couple questions. Its because I was never good at talking emotions and feelings, maybe thats one other reason she broke things off? How do I go about to get better at this so next time it won't be so tough.

[Samedy]

I think there are a number of factors that will come into play.

 

For you, it is your ability to communicate. Not just with women but people in general. Personally, I am terrible at small talk. Not just with women, but with everyone. So I have to make an effort to become better at that skill. Some of this could be related to your ability to "open up" to people. How guarded you are...

 

Second, I think it comes to chemestry. There are people who I have a super easy time talking to, while others I struggle to have a 5 minute conversation.

[PurpleSmash]

Was talking the only thing you were doing together? She might have gotten bored of you because there was no sexual chemistry, or you were too afraid to make a move.

[deesea5]

When I was growing up, I never really have anyone around to talk to. I was the only child, mom was busy putting food on the table. So most of the time I entertain myself. I hardly even talk to my mom about anything meaningful either, we actually barely talk about anything. I guess I never really learned how to express myself at a young age & this carry on to now.

 

We used to have sex weekly or whenever we have time. I don't think its anything sexual. I think its more of a satisfing her emotions. Now I think about it, we really never have any emotional talks. It just always small talk. Like I did this, what happen to that, who and what type of stuff.

[Samedy]

When I was growing up, I never really have anyone around to talk to. I was the only child, mom was busy putting food on the table. So most of the time I entertain myself. I hardly even talk to my mom about anything meaningful either, we actually barely talk about anything. I guess I never really learned how to express myself at a young age & this carry on to now.

 

So then what you should start working on is personal growth in your socializing skills. Join a club, go to a bar, heck go to a church, and practice talking to people.

[deesea5]

At times I feel like I shouldn't say certain things because I'm afraid she might not like or offend her.

[deesea5]

She claims that I'm most comfortable with her when I'm drunk. I tend to pour my feelings out when that happens because that's the point where I don't care what people think about me. Should I start acting this way?

[turnera]

Go to link removed and print out the Love Buster and Emotional Needs questionnaires. Avoid their forums - they are toxic! Just print out the questionnaires, one of each for both of you. Ask her if she's willing to sit down with you and fill them out. Then set aside one hour each week, like on Sunday night - just one hour - to talk about the answers you each gave, if she's still willing to. That will give you a purpose for talking and getting more comfortable talking, and it will help you BOTH see where you BOTH could have improved your relationship.

 

Now, if she's not willing, just save them for the next girl.

[turnera]

If you're most comfortable when you're drunk, that means you're afraid that what you say will not be accepted by the other person. Why is that? Find out.

[deesea5]

The fear of rejections & being left?

[turnera]

Good guess. But there's more to it than that. Do some research on shyness; the more you learn the more power you have.

[deesea5]

i actually just came accross a pretty insightful article & its giving me the confident & motivation i need to improve myself. thanks.