In front of new people, I just cant be myself. I need help.

[HSBoy44]

Theres this girl that I kind of like. My friend introduced us recently, within the last week. We have talked online for about 3 or 4 days and it has gone well. My problem is that when I first meet somebody I don't be myself. I try to be perfect because I know if I am then they will have to like me. When I am myself, I get excited about stuff, I really get into whatever Im talking about, and I am really sarcastic. I am myself with all of the friends I have known for a while because I feel comfortable with them and they know what I am like. Its just when Im with people I don't know its like Im a totally different person. Its hard to be myself around other people cause I think that if I am how I normally am then people wont like me. I don't know why I am like that but do you think there is any way I can just be natural around this girl that I like. Does anybody else have this problem? And if you do what have you done to not be like that? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[mtastic]

I know howyou feel, I'm the same way. First off, atleast you're talking to her, thats the hardest part. During your conversations or by talking to mutual friends, try to find out what she's gets enthusiastic about and bring that up. That way, you can loosen up and be yourself more and get entused about the stuff you like without feeling like you're making an ass of yourself, as you can get her enthused too. Who knows, you probobly have a lot of stuff iin common.

Hope everything works out for you.

[OceanEyes]

I try to be perfect because I know if I am then they will have to like me. When I am myself, I get excited about stuff, I really get into whatever Im talking about, and I am really sarcastic.

 

They will have to like you? You're making a mistake by trying to be someone else around anyone, being friend, or potential girlfriend. Have you considered that after a while, if you guys do end up dating, that she's going to see who you are eventually? You can't put a different face on forever, you would be exhausted!!

 

For starters, my boyfriend of over a year is extremely sarcastic, always joking around. What's wrong with that, I think that's great! I love a guy who has a great sense of humour, irony and sarcasm, it's one of the reasons I fell in love with my boyfriend in the first place!

 

Also, another thing to take into consideration is that she's going to be around your friends and you at some point. Do you want to have to act like a complete different person (or a dope) when she's around and have your friends notice and give you a hard time on top of it?

 

My advice is, if this girl doesn't like who you are when you're being yourself, she's just not for you. It's that simple! And my guess is that she's going to like who you are, you sound like a lot of fun, and that's what most women are looking for ultimately, especially younger ones. Of course it's never a good idea to be exactly how you are around your buddies as you are around your woman. Being crude, ignorant and just plain nasty is unacceptable (ie. farting, calling her names or insulting her, ignoring her, etc.).

 

You're in good shape. Everyone is insecure to some extent, but you sound like the life of the party. Good luck!