why does she contact me?

[nick23]

My girlfriend broke up with me 2 months ago, and I initiated no contact about a month and a half ago. If she initiates contact I do talk back to her, but I am not being all needy, because honestly I am over that. She just asks how I am doing and then goes on to talk about herself, i keep my responses short and just say I am doing great. I am already talking to new women, so at this point getting back with her isnt really a priority to me, but about once every two weeks my ex will contact me for chit chat, about nothing really important. What does it mean?

 

The only thing I can think of is she is trying to leave me on the backburner, just incase whatever new guy she meets will treat her bad.

 

What do you guys and gals think?

 

thanks

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

Congratulations for getting over her. Sounds like you have your two feet on the ground.

 

To tell you the truth, I don't think she's playong games. By what you say, she might really honestly enjoy talking to you.

 

No need to look to deep into it. You shared a lot in the past. you are still in her mind. Take it simply for what it is without expecting anything from it.

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

[ember]

maybe she just wants to be friends...

[STARSHINE42]

Hi Nick23,

 

Well .....this could mean a lot of different things . the one definate thing is she still cares about you. She could still have feelings for you, or maybe she just wants to be friends. I dunno. Next time she calls you, ask her how she feels about you, get her response. Also another big factor is how long did you guys go out, 2months?, 2years?...that is imporntant. If you guys went out for a long time, it's hard to let go w/ no contact. She could just be checking up on you to see if everything is ok. But it's up to you weather or not you want to be friends with her. If you don't let her down nicely. If you do, explain to her, you want to date other woman and you are just friends. well hope it works out hun. let me know how it works out

[nick23]

Hi everyone thanks for the responses.

 

Just a little information, we dated for about 18 months, and according to her I was the only guy to ever treat her right.( Only one to never cheat on her) She broke up with me just needing space and to be independent.

 

I really dont want to ask her how she feels about me next time she calls or instant messages, because if she wanted to she could tell me without me asking. I have done all I can do, I mean she broke up with me. I just dont see why she insists on still talking to me once in a while. I think next time i talk to her I am going to tell her that I have gone out to meet new women, and to see what kind of response I get.

 

thanks everyone

[Michael2]

Keep doing what you are doing.

 

Do not ask her about your relationship, or what she thinks about you.

In addition do not bring up that you are dating someone else. You will not get anything out of it what so ever. I know it would feel good, but the larger picture you must analyze. You want her to respect you , not become jealous of you. You want her emotions to be true, not induced by what is HAPPENING in your life. In order to truly realize if she wants to get back with you ( I know you say now, but deep inside you wish this were true) she must come to this conclusion by herself. Her emotions must not be clouded.

 

One day she will ask, and when she does, then you can tell her. Until then, your lips are sealed. Simple and small talk.

[nick23]

Thats a good idea. I think I will not say anything about m eseeing other women unless she asks. If I do say something it will seem like I am trying to make her jealous, and I dont want to start conflict like that. I am at the point where sure i would like to think we can get back together, but in the past couple of weeks I have realized there are tons of fish in the sea.

[TrueHeart]

And you're right. I think that she would only do that because YES she still thinks about you and YES she still cares. Perhaps, she's realized that what she lost in you. If you've moved on, thats great... but even though your converstions are short with her, they seem to annoy you a little, no? Atleast thats what I gather. Obviously, shes under some kind of impression, a glimmering hope that you'll take her back. Or... maybe she just wants to be friends.... Its a toss up.

 

One thing you don't want to do is volunteer your info to her.. it wouldnt get the reaction you think, and frankly, its none of her business who you date/see or whatever... She's most likely having those longing feelings coming back too-- if you seriously don't want to be with her, and are getting annoyed at her contacting you-- that would slightly be leading her on.. If you're certain that you don't want the friendship, maybe ignoring her will get your point accross... I don't know.. The story is a little vague to really judge, but thats my first impression of it.

[nick23]

Trueheart,

 

Thanks for the response. Here is our story in a nutshell. Dated for about 18 months, then I am assuming she lost interest in me. She would never initiate us hanging out and never really wanted to go out. Eventually she said she cant be in a relationship anymore an she wants to be single.

 

Fast forward now two months after the breakup. She still calls or instant messages me to start the random conversations. A couple of weeks ago she took me to the movies. I think she is just trying to keep good ties with me incase the next guy she meets doesnt work out.