Trying to understand women...

[lostNheartbroken]

Hey guys/gals, I have a question about women.

 

Last night I was cruising around town with my friend and we saw 2 beautiful (stunning) young women walking so I pulled up to them and asked if they'd like a ride. They're from out of town and wanted to find a liquer store at 1:30am to buy some jack daniels. At first they seemed really surprised and didn't really want to get in because they didn't know us. Finally, Booka the lab puppy in my backseat caught their attention and they decided to ride. So we introduced ourselves, talked about where we're from, what our majors are in college etc. After stopping off at the liquer store I drove them to where they were staying. On the way back they asked us for our phone numbers and gave us theirs. They're down here for the weekend and we talked about going out in my boat today. They were pretty stoked. In their parking lot we said our goodbyes, the older girl (they were sisters) said, "Ok guys, I'd invite you up to our place but we just met you", to which I replied, "Gotcha, no problem, you girls have a great night and enjoy the jack daniels". We talked about hanging out while they're down here to which they seemed genuinly interested.

 

So today, I give them a call, I get the younger sister, I say, "Hi, this is (my name) from last night". A really cheery voice says, "Oh hi! How are you"? Then she asks what my friend and I are doing. I told her my friend was working on his truck and I was just hanging out. I asked what she was doing and if she wanted to go out in the boat (as we'd talked about last night). She said they were shopping (imagine that), then she asked her sister, how long you think we'll be? She then said they'd be about 2 more hours and asked if we'd like them to give us a call when they finished. So 3 hours go by and my friend gives them a call. No answer. Hmm we wonder... So we go about our day and a couple hours later give them a call again. No answer...So a couple hours later we decide to just go out ourselves. When we're out in the boat we decide one last attempt. We give them a call and again no answer. I can take a hint...but wtf. Why do girls ask for your number and volunteer theirs if they aren't interested????? I mean, if they'd have just said "Sorry, not interested, or no we don't want to hang out" or something along those lines I wouldn't waste my time thinking about them and planning my day around taking them out. I understand it's easier to avoid than confront, but common...

[vitalcoaching]

getting a rejection is always tough to take.

 

No matter how it happens, no matter how it comes. When it comes to dating, there are lots of power games going on.

 

Nothing to worry about, it's just part of the game. Have a strategy for every situation.

 

The best solution is not to expect too much and learn to move on VERY fast after any form of rejection, have other alternatives, etc.

 

Remember, very often, this has nothing to do with love, it's simply a power game. Be ready for it and it won't hurt.

 

Good luck and stay in touch

 

vitalcoach

[phaseone]

Also realize these girls are also probably looking out for their safety. I know it is unlikely you and your friend are criminals, but going on a boat trip is more private. I would have recommended meeting at a general safe public place such as a restaurant or a bar to gain their trust first.

[Fades To Black]

I agree with phaseone. I'm an adult and living on my own. So its not like I have parents or anyone else to worry about me, and ask where I'm going and who I'm with.. But I'm still very careful about who has my number, knows where I live, and wants to hang out. The fact that they barely knew you and gave you some pretty vital information might have skeeved them out. Even though they weren't pressured into it, they might have had doubts the next day. And also, I would have so many scary images running through my mind of hanging out with some guy I didnt know on a boat.. hahaha.

 

Again, I don't necessarily think the girls not answering had anything to do with power or playing games. It could have been for any number of reasons. Again maybe they were scared, maybe at the time they were feeling brave and later got nervous and backed off, maybe their phone stopped working... it could've been anything.

 

Don't take this to heart because you never know what the circumstances were.

[lostNheartbroken]

Thanks for each of your imput. I never really thought about the danger side of things girls are faced with. I'm the most gentle kind person to everyone regardless of appearance, age, race, social class, and I love to experience life. I'm really shy when it comes to initiating conversation with strangers so I was actually proud of myself I built up the courage to just stop and offer a ride to 2 beautiful young women. I'm usually so terrified of rejection I don't take chances, and this rejection just really hurt.

 

I never really thought of a fishing trip as anything more than a fishing trip. Today I took my friend's girlfriend out fishing all day and we had a blast, caught tons of fish and it was great. Usually, if I'm in my boat and I see people fishing from shore I'll pull up and invite them to go out. Even today, I pulled into my boat slip and took the fish to the cleaning table. A kid who I've seen fishing from shore several times came up and watched me clean the fish, I started talking to him and tomorrow we're going out fishing. He's 14, we're in a beach town designed around having fun and thats what I'm doing. If I spent all my time worrying about getting laid I'd probably feel pretty crummy. The biggest thing that really gets my blood boiling is guys who keep pushing girls into situations they don't want to be in. Even my friends sometimes push things too far and I stop and tell them, in front of everyone, "dude, back the bleep off". Even last week we were hanging out with some guys in their 40's who were drunk. A girl my friend knows was walking by so he called her over. She came over and one drunk guy said, "I remember you from the bushes", the girl said,

"Okie dokie...you guys have fun" she then turned and walked away. Needless to say this guy had more than a hangover the next day...multiple aches and pains due to the way he was removed from the property. I respect others as I assume they will me. I was just really bummed about being rejected. But hey, someone who likes me will come along sometime and I'll have other things to think about...