how to cope

[samcogan]

I live in the uk and my girlfirend has gone to new york to do a film course for 2 months. I know thats not very long compared to the seperation some of you are dealing with so I'm sorry if I sound pathetic. Anyway I really miss her and I'm not coping that well, especialy in the mornings. I find it difficult to concentrate at work and often get upset. The time difference doesn't help because I can only really call her at night, which is great when I talk to her but I feel bad again the next day. 2 months should be a really short time but sometimes it seems like the end of april is such a long time away. I'm going to new york and the end of april for a holiday with her, and looking forward to this often helps, but I was wondering if you had any ideas for coping when I get really down.

 

Thanks

 

Sam

[faeriechyld]

Hey now, two months IS a long time, when you're away from the one you love. I'm looking forward to the end of April as well, as I'll be able to fly down and visit my b/f in tech school at that time.

 

Some of the things that helped me when my boyfriend first left probably won't help you since I was looking at a more long term distance than 2 months and you also have the phone. However, does she have internet access in NY? If so, I strongly suggest writing to her often. It helps because it feels almost like you are still talking to her all the time. If you can't email her, you could still write her and just give her the letters when she returns. It may sound like a bogus idea, but it helped me a lot during the six weeks of boot camp my boyfriend went through when I had minimal contact with him.

 

And lastly, if you get upset, just try and let it out. I know getting upset at work is something you'd like to avoid, I try not to get upset about things at work too. It's not the ideal place, but sometimes you just can't help it. Keep in mind during these times of loneliness that she loves you and will be back in your arms before you know it. Try to keep busy, even when all you want to do is stay home and mope, try to get out with friends and things to keep your mind off of the distance. You're going to get lonely, I can't lie to you and tell you that's not going to happen, but what I can tell you is that you will get through this and you'll be with her again soon.

 

If you want to, feel free to PM me. I know what you're feeling as I am where you are. Take care and best wishes!

[samcogan]

thanks for the advice. I'm trying to keep busy and go out with my friends more and it does help. I seem to be feel better by the afternoon at work, once I've got into my work, It just takes a while to get going in the morning. I'm trying not to let my girlfriend know how down I am sometimes cos I want her to have a good time and not worry about me. She knows I miss her but I don't want to put anymore pressure on her. I think she's probably figured it out anyway. I guess I've just got to get on with it and look forward to my holiday and seeing her again. It just seems to be such a long way off sometimes.