My lover told me something today....

[helpme]

The person that I have been seeing is married and up until last week they where surpose to going through a divorce which deep down I have been telling myself is a lie. He told be bofore that they have not had sex for 6 months. Well this weekend he told me that she seduced him. I don't know what to think. It really doesn't bother me that they are having sex because I don't have to worry about him going to find it some where else. But, Deep down I really didn't want to hear it. One thing he said he wanted to still see me. Helpme!!!!!!!!!!!!

[SwingFox]

Hi helpme,

 

Out of all postings I reply, I find the subject "Dating married persons" the most difficult topics to reply to. I am somewhat resistant towards dating 'married persons'. Even though that they might go through a divorce, they still will need space to clear their mind and get over their 'ex'. Usually there is little room for a new partner until they have got over those feelings, unless that new partner is going to be a rebound relation.

 

As for the making love part. I really don't know what to suggest. Is he still planning to go through a divorce? What will your response be? How long are you willing to wait? Forever? As you can see it raises a lot of questions.

 

Although I am against it, if you are willing to stay in some sort of relation with him, even though he is NOT going to get a divorce and you don't want to hear about what he and his wife are doing, I'd suggest you tell him so. That's pretty much the only way. But I'd rather see you getting out that relation, though.

 

This is my two cents worth... I hope I was of help for you. Good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~

[jimbucktwo1776]

What the hell kind of person are you? Don't you have the values to not sleep with a married person. Sure, they are just as bad if not worse than you, but you are just asking for trouble .

 

He is a liar-he probably "seduced" her. And in Maryland, married persons can not have contact for a year before the state will finalize the divorce. that means, if they stay apart for 364 days, and on the last day they sleep together, the count starts over. (Don't ask me how they enforce it-I guess it's up to the judge to figure out who's lying)

 

Married people hardly ever leave their spouse for their piece on the side. That's all you are to him.

 

Respect yourself, have the guts to leave, and find someone better.

 

 

 

Jimbucktwo1776

 

 

 

That's definitely that.

[raggamuffin]

I guess you need to ask yourself, is there a future here? Why is he having sex with his wife if they are getting a divorce? This leads me to my next point, he probably still has feelings for her. 9 times out of 10 a married man will choose his wife over anything else, ive seen it happen soo sooo many times. He is cheating on you just as much as he is cheating on his wife and if he does choose you over her is he going to be faithful to you??? Is staying in this kind of relationship going to make you happy for a long period of time or is it going to be up and down. Why waste your time on someone who wants others when you could find a great man who wants you and only you. Good luck, I hope that you make the right decision for yourself.

[chenjo73]

 

Hi dear

there's still other better choice out there, why share with another woman?What will you gain if you stay on? I guess most of us will discourage you to carry on...Even if he really get a divorce, do you think he will stay with you forever? I doubt so. Think hard yah, may be difficult to leave him now but when? Until he decide he's tired with you and ask you to find another man better than him. Come on, life still goes on without him, it maybe sad for that moment but after this, you'll be able to find someone who really treasures you. All the best to you.

 

Take good care of yourself, don't let worthless man hurt you anymore.

 

Jo