honesty

[neva_black_n_white]

hey everyone.

i was just wondering...

does anyone feel that there is such a thing as being too honest?

 

any advice or replies would be appreciated.

kel

[just_smile]

hey neva_black_white,

i dont believe there is sucha thing as being too honest, i think you should tell people how you feel and what you believe, everyone has an opinion on things, so you say what you believe, no matter how small or insignificant you think it is.

hope this helps ~LJ =;

[inastate]

In an ideal world I wish that we could just be honest with everyone and say exactly what we think and thereforeeee express how we honestly feel. Unfortunately however the world is not ideal. I think that people should be honest and have consideration for others at the same time. I personally try to be as honest as I can as often as I can, but try to limit such honest with objective, rational thought.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that although I might think my honest opinion first, I won't always say it because I will try and put myself in the other person's shoe before I do. When I'm with closer friends though I tend to be more and more honest and open because I know the person better and I'm to have a better idea of how they would feel if I said what I said.

 

Honesty is a very interesting topic I think...

[Nifty_Swifty1]

There is never such a thing as being too honest... though it seems that way if you aren't tactful.

 

People seem to think they need to hide things for some reason. I've had one relationship where the girl told me everything even if she though I would get upset. That was the one relationship that I was never nervous in. I never doubted her intensions or motives because we knew each other inside out. Too bad we were so young... I haven't herd from her in years.

[Princess777]

Hello,

I agree with inastate wholeheartedly.

One exception I can think of when it's better to not be too honest is with an employer. I call it being honest yet vague. For example, if you are going through personal problems and need some time off for an appointment to see a therapist or something, I wouldn't tell my employer where I was going, rather I would just say I had an appointment. I also would try extremely hard not to show my feelings at work even when my personal life is falling apart. (Unfortunately I have to do this often) It looks bad on your part because the employer will think that you are not stable and that your problems will interfere with your work.

[SadJJ]

Sounds like everybody's on the same page...I just wish the rest of the world was on this page too. I think honestly is the single most important quality for someone to have, it makes life so much more simple.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey everyone, im glad of the positive responce.

the reason for me asking is that i am very much an honest person, a slight lie and i will feel awkward around that person making sure two seconds later i tell the truth. so generally now im honest all the time.

 

yes i also believe the world will be easier and a better place if everyone was honest. but i guess it had its depth and must ensure no ones is too severly hurt by what is said.

anyway thanks everyone and any other opinions are greatful.

kel

[sisterlynch]

You can hold your own opinion over other people. My family is always getting on me for being too honest if it hurts the other person's feelings, then you are being too honest. The trouble is there are so many people and so many opinions to delve through all the time, it is just too difficult if you really listen to others to take it all in without a filter.

[Kodos]

I have to disagree. I consider myself an honest person but, I think there are times when you have to bend the rules a little.

 

I have lost a good friend because he asked my opinion on his relationship, and I told him the truth. It turns out that I was right, but it's too late now. I have since learned to refuse to give advice to those close to me. I guess it is better to plea the 5th in cases like that, not really lie.

 

I have a question for everyone: Is leaving out information lying? As in the example Princess gave.

[sisterlynch]

It really depends upon the lie and the amount of emotional investment that you have in a relationship. Also the maturity of the person involved. Like if my mom spreads untruths about me and my family, this hurts more than some stranger on the street. When people ask my opinion, I try to back up my beliefs with some evidence that shows an example of how I feel or proves that I am right and the other person has indeed lied.

 

Between my husband and myself I like to think that I can tell him anything at anytime, but the truth is that he has feelings too and somethings I like to put off for a while before telling if I know he might be upset by it or I wait until the proper moment to tell it.

 

When something is important to tell it is really good to get the info out at a time when the person is reasonably relaxed and ready to listen, I find that after a meal is a good time to discuss things openly and rationally and expect an honest response from the person.

 

Being authentic really helps too. This means that you say what you mean and mean what you say, don't say one thing one day and another the next, don't contradict yourself in other words. Be open and honest and let others know how you are feeling about something. Listen with your heart when others are speaking, don't always assume that you know what that person will say on any subject.