Blondie176

Oh man... Blondie, why did he tell you?

He told me because it was getting difficult not to.

We had broken up already but we had remained very close. For 2 months he had been seeing her before he told me. I had been friend-zoned and used as a safety net without even knowing it, while he got to know his now gf.

Day 7.

 

This is getting sort-of, not-really easier. Not really at all, actually. But I'm just taking it day by day. He's out of the city right now for the holiday, so at least I know for sure that I won't "accidentally" meet him while running errands.

xxx

Argh! I replied her! I just said, "I'm not". I broke NC, AGAIN. gosh... I feel so crappy right now. Back to day 1. mind skheehee, back on the horse you get.

 

This is my third attempt and from what i have read most people do need a few attempts before they crack it.

 

Day 5 - take 3

 

I find when i am busy i am pretty much ok, the odd thought pops in my mind but i seem to be able to push them off and carry on, its when i am alone that it hits me. Evenings when we would normally be together are hard. I miss how we would chat about all those silly little things. I miss that i dont know how he is, what he is up to or that he is ok. ( Pretty darn sure he is ok though, with his new woman enjoying all that comes with a new relationship) Makes me feel a tad pissed off to think i am wondering about him while he has forgotten me.

 

Its been a month now since he told me he was seeing someone else, i feel much more stable now than i did those first few nights but it still stings. I think what i am finding most sad is that its looking very likely that i will never speak to or see him again. Like when someone dies. Only he isnt dead, he is very much alive and living the dream while i live the nightmare.

 

This sucks.

 

xxx

It's day 5 now. Feeling a little better. There's hope for the future.

The last time I talked to her mum was the last time I talked to her. 4 days ago. Hm... Her mum likes to pry into her life. Well, her whole family is concerned for her. They don't like this guy. Neither do I, but what can we do? It's her choice. Her life. If she wants to throw away a good future with me for some "emotional predator" who doesnt whom she met at a club, it's still her choice. I'm just trying to move on with my own life now, but peeking over my shoulder at times to "check up" on her. I still love her. But doing NOTHING, I guess, is the best thing I can do now.

Its understandable that her family are concerned if he is a tw@t but she has to learn that for herself. You love her so of course you are still looking back and out for her, that shows you are a kind soul. But, now is the time for you ( and me, and us all in this thread) to think about ourselves. xxx

God. The ex just sent me a text. She asked me to stop entertaining her mother's questions because she is a "nosey f***".

 

I'm not replying her. Just some background: her mum has been asking me to fight for her, because she doesn't like the new guy.

 

Is not the replying her the right thing to do?

xxx

Day 3 and i am doing ok, i am still thinking about him an awful lot but it doesnt sting as much as it did before. I think i just might be starting to accept that he is gone. But i have felt like this before and it usually isnt long before i feel sad and alone once more. Its such a bumpy ride this heartbreak stuff isnt it?

 

I have played all my cards and have nothing left to try, he knows how i feel, he knows where i am, if he wanted me, well he would come find me. Its really as simple as that. Ive cried and made a complete **** of myself in the past month. Hanging around for any breadcrumbs he might throw me.... not any more.

 

Day 4 - take 3

 

Is it me or has time slowed down?

 

I feel like this past month has lasted for years and years.

 

I feel the same as i did yesterday really, i had a moment earlier where i cried but it wasnt as deep a cry as it has been previously.

 

I am flitting between hating him for how ****ing cold he has been to desperately missing him. I seriously wish i could just remove him from my mind, i feel quite confident about nc but its the obsessive thinking about him, all those ''what ifs?'' that are doing me in.

 

I want to let him go. I want me back! But for some reason my mind and heart have different ideas.

 

Bleh....

Hope you guys are doing ok there

 

xxx

Day 2 and missing him like crazy but also not feeling the pain as much as my previous days 2's lol

 

I have to do this for my own sanity. Enough is enough!

 

xxx

I have played all my cards and have nothing left to try, he knows how i feel, he knows where i am, if he wanted me, well he would come find me. Its really as simple as that. Ive cried and made a complete **** of myself in the past month. Hanging around for any breadcrumbs he might throw me.... not any more.

Day 8

Now I'm struggling with not contacting him. Ever since he asked me why I'm not talking to him. This entire time he's been texting me but I've kept silent. Looks like he's taken notice of my silence. What to do now?

I'm so conflicted. Part of me still cares about him but another wants to hurt him. Part of me wants to say nothing but another wants to talk to him and ask if we can try again. Part of me doesn't want anything to do with him, to cut him out completely, he doesn't deserve me, he had his chance and he won't be able to have another. Part of me wants to do what he wants to do but another part sees no way of that happening. Part of me misses him but another part wants to give him the cold shoulder.

8 days and still so lost.

What does it mean if they're with someone else but don't send you so much as a happy birthday text? How could someone I've shared my heart with for 3 years be so.. Heartless.

Day 2 and missing him like crazy but also not feeling the pain as much as my previous days 2's lol

I have to do this for my own sanity. Enough is enough!

xxx

I found this posted deep in the NC thread here, posted by someone called 'hurtandused' .. fantastic post and one that i am sure we can all identify with. xxx

Day 1 Round 2

 

I dont even know what to think at this point. One minute I feel like i will be perfectly fine but the next im crying and cant live without him. I just keep thinking about the person that he used to be. I cant even wrap my head around how much he has changed since the first day i met him. It's just crazy. I know in my mind that i should and need to move on but my heart says otherwise. I wish i knew if he missed me at all, even just a tiny bit. I dont understand how someone that once loved me so much can turn their back on me just like that...

Hang in there hunni, there is nothing i can say to take that pain away but know you arent alone in this xxxx

I am officially crap at this

Arghhhhh i broke the no contact rule..got to day 13 this time and i cracked, i text him something really simple like ' Hi, hope you're well'' uhhhhh i regretted it instantly but it was too late. He then rang me and we chatted for a while about this and that and nothing to do with us! It was soooo good to hear his voice though- i swear he is like a drug for me.

On the plus side i didnt cry this time or beg or make an idiot of myself so at least his last memory of me will not be the hysterical mess i was last time.

Still doesnt change the fact that he is still with HER and not me.

Back to NC for me from tomorrow because i spoke with him again today.

For anyone thinking about breaking the no contact, DONT! It feels good to interact with them at the time but once that phone goes down you are left feeling like complete crap all over again. Its like picking at a healing ( even if only ever so slightly healing) wound and making it blood red again.. very very painful.

xxx

Day 12 (take 2)

This is how far i got last time and then i cracked and i am having to sit on my hands to stop me from calling him again. I hate this!

When i first joined up here and told my story, the good folks who replied all pretty much said ''Do Nothing!''..............i agreed but now i am doubting them and myself. Shouldnt i be fighting for my man? All this time ( 12 days- to me is long) i have been silent, what message am i sending him? What does my silence say? Does it say i am angry or i dont care, that i dont want to talk to him.... i feel like my silence might be driving him into her arms more than if i was in contact with him.

The last time we spoke he said he still loved me and that he had made a terrible mistake, then why isnt he contacting me and why is he still with her ?

Uhhhhh i want out of this crap

Hope everyone is doing ok today xxxx

Day 11 ( take 2)

We were all best friends with our lost loves. That is the part that makes it so hard and so painful. We need to turn to our friend, but they are the one that hurt us. It simply is sad.

I saw this quote somewhere else and it pretty much sums up how i feel. Im tired of being tired, tired of being sad, tired of being obsessed with this crap.

xxx

Lift your spirits and hang in there everyone, it really gets better and better don't worry!

I hope so

Day 10 ( take 2)

I had the most messed up dream, we were getting intimate, it was seriously hot and steamy and i was loving every second of it..... then in a blink of an eye it was no longer me he was making love to, it was HER.. oh dear lord, i woke in a right state.

I am still bursting into tears guys, this is starting to worry me now, when will i start to see some light coming from that tunnel? I feel lost and alone and worried that i wont ever find my way back from this. All this while he makes happy with someone else!

I hope you guys are having a better day than i am xxx

I have a question before accepting the challenge.

Is it normal for the dumper--who just wants to be friends with the dumpee--to text the dumpee right away after breaking the news as if everything is all fine and dandy? I'm the dumpee and I've made no contact or reply to him but he keeps texting me. Not to mention I've never been in a relationship before so...yeah...not sure what to do. However, he has been in several relationships before. Then again, the guy I was seeing didn't consider our time together to be a relationship because quite frankly we never went on any dates or did anything together. We just texted and I spent the night with him but we never had sex. Wait...then am I still a dumpee? And he's still my ex?

You cannot be friends until you are on the same page as him, he see's you as a mate only, if and when you see him in the same way,until then, friends is a no no IMO.

I think the dynamics of the relationship are not important, whether you were married for x amount of years or in a sort of seeing each other type of relationship, the fact is you are hurt and need to break the strings of attachment. xxx

I dont know how your relationship was previously, but if thats the case your certainly better off without him.

Day 9 ( take 2)

I feel all a bit 'meh' today, last night i had a seriously wobbly moment of really desperately needing him, i fell to the floor in a heap and sobbed for ages. I feel like he has stomped on my heart, left me laying in a broken heap on the floor and walked away without looking back. Can this get any worse? It has to start to get better soon, right?

Its the silence that is killing me, no contact whats so ever, ( obviously cause i am in NC lol) no chit chat, no knowing how his day was or him mine, the thoughts of him with HER kill me too. No cuddles, no intimacy. He is doing all that with someone else.

I am forgetting his voice, his smell, his smile. After just 9 days! So i imagine he has totally forgotten those things about me, seeing as he has moved on and all.

xxx

Day 6 ( take 2)

I dont know how i feel today really, i am sort of starting to think he is a bit of a bastard really, what kind of man lies for 2 months when he seeing someone else, what kind of man tell you he still loves you, that he made a terrible mistake but then goes on to spend the weekend with the other woman, leave you in tears, in an absolute mess and doesnt even look back?

Meh.... i wish i could erase him from my mind!

Hope you guys are doing ok xxx

I failed at day 12

I am back on it though, day 2 ...i hate this though, i just want to be free from all this bolloxs

Day 11

I am still bursting into tears at random times, i wonder when my tears will dry up?

I am anxious too Streetbob, for 11 days now i have had this knot in my tummy, i feel unsettled in my self, which is normal at times like this. I agree with the above comments, invite the anxiety in, let it be there for the time being, its your body reacting to the situation.

I read somewhere on here ( wish id noted the posters name) that the only way out is through! Never a truer word spoken.

I hope you all have a good day.. xxxx

Excellent post Nolia, thank you! xxx

Day 9

I have been on and off today, i am still bursting into tears at random times, shouldnt i be passing the teary stage by now?

I managed to watch the football and was actually distracted by it at times my mind kept wondering though, if him and his new woman were watching together. Urgh.

I hope i start to sleep better soon because i am exhausted.

Hope everyone is doing ok xxx

I want you to know that i still love you, i miss you so much it hurts. I want you to know that the reason behind my silence is thaat i cannot watch your new relationship blossom, i cannot listen to you speak about your plans, i cannot look at pictures of the two of you on facebook. I cannot settle for any crumbs you may throw me from time to time if i break the silence. 9 days i have been silent and i feel like you have forgotten me, like i never existed, i was replaced and you have no idea and will never know how much this has broken me.

Thats all.

Can i join in?

I am already 8 days in NC and today i have felt sad and down most of the day. I feel strongly that i wont contact him and i feel equally strong that he wont contact me ( he is with another woman) but 8 days in i dont really feel like i have made much progress. I must have though because day 1-2-3 i was listening to people talking but i wasnt hearing, i was seeing things around me but i wasnt watching, eating but not tasting and so on.. i dont feel like the zombie i was then. Maybe i shouldnt judge my progress day by day? xxx