dudelikewhoa

Hahaha! None of that happened in that manner! What is this assumption that is going on to make this entirely my fault!? Let me address this line by line... "You walked out and left her drunk at the bar? And then she apologizes to you? " No. Reread my original post. We were at her friends house after the bar and she started kissing another person in front of me while drunk. So, I left home out of self-respect. That is why she was apologizing. For her bad, drunken behavior after I was trying to take care of her. "She tells you in advance that she can't make the event because of anxiety and apologizes." No. She asked me if I would still go to the event with her. Then she texted me hours before cancelling after promising she would not. "You call, then text with abusive character assassinations." Sorry, no. I texted her that I was disheartened and disappointed and told her how it made me feel. Never did I once character assassinate her. I just called her out for not being a great friend. It's not abusive to tell someone that you are feeling hurt and upset without attacking them. "You have some work to do on yourself. Leave her alone." Hey. I can always work on myself in general, but you have misconstrued this situation the wrong way. To be clear, we have since spoken and she only continues to apologize for her behavior that is "pushing me away" because of depression, says that she misses me and is "lucky to have me in her life"....then will just go cold again. What I am guilty of...is sticking around. I come to this forum for advice and aid with something that hurt and confused me, not to be railroaded and villainized with false accusations from people who aren't reading the proper details. That is unfair and upsetting.

Yes. I just do not understand keeping distance when it was her that admitted all these "feelings of attraction" to me. This whole thing is just confusing.

Light kissing and flirting. That is why I up and left. I mean, I basically said I liked her back but the whole thing happened so fast. She has her ups and downs, has anxiety and deals with depression. When conflicts or difficult issues arises, she seems to retreat and hide. She has also admitted to "pushing me away".

Not really. She is very attractive but I wasn't going there originally. She told me she had feelings for me and since we had been spending a bit more time hanging out than we usually do...I considered the concept of it and it made me think. Also, when she kissed me on/off throughout that night...I liked it. So yeah, I suppose it did change my perception of our dynamic...but if she continues to push me away and handle this poorly because she is having anxiety about it...I would prefer to try and salvage the friendship if possible.

I do have a larger circle of friends. That is not a problem. We just happened to be engaging with one another more often as of late. I don't depend on her at all. This is all very situational within the last few weeks.

Well, we are far from "enemies". Regardless of her inability to come out from under the bed and face the situation, we treat each other with kindness. She flaked on me after asking to meet up with me for an event that costed $120 haha. So, I respectfully called her on it. I never "rejected" her. In fact, I told her that I was mutually attracted to her after thinking about it and then she reeled back. Why aren't we dating others? Well, this just happened a month ago. I, myself, have been talking to a couple other people...but nothing serious right now. I think it is all a mess as well. After the way she has been handling this, I do not think I would want to have a romantic relationship with her anyways. But she is, normally, a good friend. So, I think I was hoping to salvage that. I am just confused.

Sorry, to clalrify...I meant "on one"...as in she has been acting up differently than she normally acts the last few times we have all hung out together prior to this. Her behavior has been a bit erratic when drinking. I did not approach hanging out with her as romantic previously. We were platonic friends. When she asked to kiss me, I was genuinely shocked.

Well, being that this whole thing happened only a month ago, I would have a few different feelings about it. I would feel hurt that she opened up to tell me she had feelings for me then just went off with someone else, I would be annoyed naturally haha and would probably question her as a person in general because that would be crappy to not even address what happened and just move on. She was my friend! So, yes, I would be upset given that this is all still very fresh. We haven't even been able to have an adult discussion about it outside of texting. She has been allergic to speaking on the phone or meeting up since this happened.

Sure. I have been friends with her through two relationships. I'm sure if she started one now, it could possibly sting a bit...being that she told me she has feelings for me that were unprovoked. That would be weird currently. But normally, yes, I wouldn't think twice about it.

I did not pressure anyone. In fact, all I have been doing is giving space. If you read the post, you will see that she is the one who brought this to the the surface and complicated our platonic friendship. I just came here for advice on what I should or should not do...because this is confusing.

Thank you all. To be clear, which I did not add in my original post, she does not normally act this way. I feel like she has been "on one". Our friendship was completely fine, healthy and in tact before this hiccup happened. I have no problem cutting off bad romantic relationships....friends on the other hand can be a bit more heartbreaking to lose. So I am just treading lightly. I am just seeing a different side of her now. Maybe this is why her relationships don't last long hahah. I don't know. It has been taking up too much real estate in my heart. I would hate to lose my friend.

A while back, my platonic friend (37 F, Pisces) of five years had a few too many drinks at a bar and asked to kiss me (44 M, Scorpio). We had been getting a bit closer in the past few months. Hanging out more often. At first, I thought it was just drunken fun...but then she said that it 'makes sense this happens' and how we 'have a strong connection' and that she 'might be developing feelings for me'. I started to feel similar feelings...so then we made out through the night and eventually went to one of her male friends house. She fell a few times and I was there to help her. I kept trying to suggest she go home. Eventually, one of her male friends started singing a song for her on the piano. She suddenly started to get affectionate with him! So, I stood up said nothing and walked out, ordering an Uber home. The next day she apologized profusely for being drunk and disrespecting me. She said she has no idea what had gotten into her to behave that way. Then went on and said: "I have feelings for you but I’m confused about them because I am confused about a lot of things in my life/head right now. I’m going through a weird transitional phase after my last breakup." (which was nearly 6 months ago). She regretted "vomiting all those feelings out" while drinking and not sober (and of course diverting her attention to another man in front of me...even if we are only friends). When I asked her if we should should just call it a mistake and forget about it...she said no and asked if we could just pause instead of rewinding and just take time. I agreed. A week went by and she was texting me like normal small talk stuff and I eventually got a little annoyed and told her that I couldn't continue "small talk" until she just called me or met up with me so we could just try to talk it through like adults. She understood. Another week went by and she told me how much she missed me and couldn't stand not talking to me and then asked if we were still going to this (expensive) event we had tickets for prior to this all happening. I made her promise not to flake out on me...and said yes. After that, out of nowhere..she started acting very hot and cold. Not engaging with me as much. Then of course, on the day of the event...she tells me she has bad anxiety and cancels. This upsets me. Because she was notorious for flaking as friends...but I feel like the stakes were different on this occasion. I tried to call her and she put me to voicemail. So then I sent her a text message basically telling her how this upset me and that she was the one who opened this whole can of worms with the feelings and that what she did, how she has been handling this poorly, flaking, was basically cruddy. I was not mean. Just very stern and clear with my disappointment and crossed boundaries. This was a week ago. No response since. Radio silence. I can tell there has been an intentional disconnect. I don't know what to do. If this was a normal woman that I was seeing or dating I would just go no contact and go about my business. But she is my close friend! I genuinely miss my friend. Should I leave her alone? Or should I reach out and ask if we can be friends again? I do have feelings for her...but I don't want this to ruin our friendship if she decides to reel back. Need some advice with this one.