Well...uh I'll start off by saying, whomever responds to this, you have my sincerest grattitude, im totally at a loss.
So here's my story, about a year ago at this same time I started a job, met this girl who I was hearing from everyone was interested in me, spent some time with her...well alot of time, never made a move on her though and after a few twists and turns, I just as much figured since I never made a move it was over, and she went off and did some not so nice things that sorta broke my heart....well blah blah a long time of depression alot of thinking and bam, about a week ago she calls me and wants to go out and talk, tells me all these things I never imagined i'd ever get to hear from her and settles all this pain and anguish i've carried...so anyway that night we drank a little and talked till the wee hours of the morning(now keep in mind im talking about a shot of whiskey every 90mins?) and it only totalled maybe 5 shots...so we arent drunk, she tells me to go ahead and stay the night and we layed down, I knew she wanted to mess around because she told me she always wanted me to be her sex toy back in the day...that was enough for me to act on and we had some fun, slept, and I left the next day. Since then I find myself just wanting to express myself to her so bad since I never really got to say my take on things...well clear-headed I guess(my mind is still kinda lost in just what has been happening) but now its like I'll talk to her, go see her, and for some reason can't even make the move to kiss her...its like im wondering if she wants me to..or something like that, I guess im a bit insecure but honestly...should I be? I suppose we havent talked about "getting back together" but it kinda seemed like there would be no reason to...either way I keep finding myself thinking about what I should do so much and then when I finally see her, losing my nerve for it all...im not so sure what my problem is, what I need to do or don't need to do...im just lost and looking for advice, so if anyone can make some sense of this or can relate, i'd sure appreciate some info to ease my soul.
Thanks.
