Wu

I think you misunderstand me. I don't mind her weight. I do love her the way she is and it is true that she was like this when I met her. I agree that it is her choice and I don't want to force her to change, but I want us to have a long life together. I want to be 90 years old with her. I want our time together to be as long as possible. Of course it is basically my problem. I don't know how to handle my worries about her. I love her and I am definitely not constantly bothering her about her habits. I guess I am disappointed that she does not share my wish for a long life together. I certainly don't demand for her to change. I simply do not know how to handle the situation. If I am going to spend the rest of my, or more likely her, life with a lump in my chest because I worry about my dearests health, then that will be terrible. Perhaps I have to accept that I might only be with her for 20 years to come instead of 60. I don't expect her to do anything I ask of her. It just puzzles me that she will knowingly do something that is harmful for her, in addition to making me feel bad. It is, for me, strange that that can not be a reason good enough for quitting smoking. I really do not think it is a big sacrifice to make for someone you care about. Anyway, I am not sure what kind of advice I expected. Thank you for your time.

I have been together with my girlfriend for about a year now, and it has become clear that our attitudes towards life are very different. She smokes, is a bit overweight, often eats fat/unhealthy food and never exercises. I am the complete opposite. She feels that life should be enjoyed to the fullest and that you shouldn't worry about the future. I however think that you can try to be healthy while still enjoying life. I know that she will probably die prematurely, which worries me alot; I want to grow old with her! Also I can't understand that she doesn't make an honest effort to quit smoking. If she really loves me, I think she should at least be able to do it for me, because she knows how I feel. Still, I know that it is her life and that she should be allowed to choose by herself how she want to live. I love her more than I ever thought possible, but I don't know if I can stand the pain I feel every time she lights a cigarette. I don't want to leave her, but I can't go on like this. Are our attitudes towards life too different? Perhaps the problem is all mine, and I should see a psychiatrist?