My boyfriend and i have been together on and off for the past 11 years.
This time we have been together for a year but we live about 200 miles apart. we see each other sometimes every weekend and sometimes we skip a weekend.
I am so in love with him but I drive myself crazy worrying. I am insecure because of my past experiences (my childhood) and because we have broken up in the past. But there has been this inexplicable attraction between us that has just gotten stronger and stronger over the years. I think it's because we have both become more mature and stable.
We talk on the phone a couple of times a week but it's just not like being there in person. Sometimes (not all the time) I get so jealous when I meet a girl he knows and start to think that he is seeing them or has seen them in the past- even though he has told me that he absolutely would not cheat on me because he cares about me. I don't want to drive him away by asking where he was every minute of the day or asking him a million questions about each girl he knows. It's just that when we are apart...i dwell on small things...and i make myself sick with worry.
I know I have problems with trust and I don't know how to stop myself from letting myself get so carried away with my fears. I know he loves me too but I think that I am going to push him away if I don't stop my paranoid thinking. Where do i begin? K.
